Hearthpwn

Well, can't say I'm terribly sorry about the fact that I lost playing as scum face hunter deck, but it is supremely frustrating that I finally give up because my control hands always manage to be garbage, so I switch to the most aggressive deck in the meta...

Only to still be unable to play a single card before turn 3, 3 games in a row. I don't even begrudge the BM I got from my opponents, they think they're crushing your regular everyday scum, instead of just some dude who can't roll to save his life. I seem to just be someone who rides the low-end of the bell curve of luck, constantly. I either have my deck fire like an engine filled with mud, or get a mediocre opening to an opponents God hand.

Don't even know if I'm salty anymore, just depressed. Feels pointless to try at times, when you can't even "win" a mulligan.

Lmao, I'm salt incarnate right now

5 games in a row, fucking 5, I've rolled far sight into a 1 or 0 cost card with only 3 in the deck that cost that little. Mutation and explosive evolution feature in the deck as one of's, and, sequentially, I roll Bewitched Guardian, Abyssal Summoner, Azalina Soulthief, Hir'eek, the Bat, Mogu Fleshshaper, and King Phaoris. Not just once, I have consistently seen all of them except the summoner, which is occasionally substituted with Arcanosaur.

Adding insult to injury is the near-constant perfect firing of enemy decks I.E. Two Ossirian Tear decks starting second, turn 2 playing Crystal Merchant into Innervate, rogues playing turn 3/4 8/8-12/12 Edwin VanCleefs, into a perfectly timed t6 Heistbaron Togwaggle or t7 fully invoked Galakrond into a free Kronx Dragonhoof, two separate highlander mages hitting insane answers leading up to a t6 Reno the Relicologist, t7 Dragoncaster into Luna's Pocket Galaxy into Stargazer Luna shenanigans.

There's variance, and then there's me, living in a perpetual RNG hell.

Oh, goodness! I hadn't used hearthpwn for a while, so I never got to see this! At the time, it served as part of an OTK with the boomship, which could be used as a regular big threat or removal.

Had the same thing happen in my run. Amusing if it's purposeful.

Lmao I better just start recording these fucking games and at least cash in on the trolden value. In arena, ahead of a warlock by a massive amount the entire game, get them to seven health. They answer my board state with defile, twisting nether, doom, defile, and finally a discovered shadow reaper anduin, each saving them from lethal the turn played. All over the course of five or so turns.

O U T S K I L L E D

Good thing they fucking are adding dungeon runs 

Probably going to be the only fucking mode I bother with anymore. I'm so fucking tired of not just getting beat, but getting SHIT on by RNG. I can take a loss, I can take the occasional upset, but fucking hell. It's almost every single fucking game lately.

Warlock, if you're reading this, grats on that seemingly AAA+++ draft. No hate.

I don't know why I continue to subject myself to the torture that is my variance. I finally gave after playing control deck after control deck with only the slowest of crawls forward. Didn't get any of my multitude of answers in time, whoops! Didn't draw anything I could play before turn five in spite of having a deck that's 60% below 4 mana cost four games in a row, what are the odds? Turn 1 Keleseth shadowstep twice, into perfect answers to my plays coming from swashburglars, didn't see that coming! Razakus priest got every key card by turn 8? No waaaay.

Anyway, so I give in and play aggro druid in spite of my staunch hatred of both the class and archetype, face a highlander priest who gets his answers and stabilizes just before death, and another whom I successfully bait out a removal combo in embrace the shadow circle of healing, immediately flooding wide and buffing again only for him to shadow visions the second circle, with the other embrace in hand.

I don't know if I can keep this up. I used to be able to coast to rank 5 with medium effort using meta decks, but now by the time I hit rank ten I'm ready to gnaw off my own fingers as if this shit were a bear trap that spammed "wow" emotes. I've been in perpetual tilt for almost a fucking year playing this, and the only thing that draws me back is my love of CCGs and my time/money investment, it feels like.

I don't know. Maybe I've gotten worse. Maybe everyone else has gotten better. Maybe I'm just on a year+ long unlucky-fest. All I know is each day I feel more reluctant to log in. Sigh.

Too slow against aggro.

Not fast enough against mass removal (i.e. Kazakus, devolve)

Run out of cards quickly.

Adding removal to your deck weakens the hand buff mechanic considerably.

I actually enjoyed playing around with Dragons/Hand Buff mechanics, but it's not QUITE competitive. The Nethersprite Historian does good work in the early game as a 2/4, but there isn't enough to keep you alive against faster decks, still.

Quit hearthstone for a while because I seemed to be living on the negative end of variance.

Came back eventually to collect on quests, farm tavern brawl pack. Decide to give an arena run a go.

Given 9 total >4 mana cost minion choices, several of which are terrible, 6 of which were before the 10th card in the draft, so I ignored those. Panic rising as I reach card 24 without being given the option for a 2 or 1 drop. Curve ends TERRIBLY, 2 one drops, 2 two drops, 1 3 drop. Highlight of the draft - Pick between Clockwork Giant, Weasel Tunneler, and Dirty Rat. Whatever, at least I picked up a couple board clears, right?

Start the first match, draw surprisingly good curve against shaman. They play one turn 1 minion, and then answer every single minion I play until turn 6, where they finally play their second minion. They totem roll every turn, each being the relevant one at the time - taunt totem to block good trade against his one drop, allowing him to secure a good trade with it elsewhere, spell damage before spells (and to buff his spirit claws, of course), the 1/1 after my board was cleared, and the healing totem when he got to turn 8 and I could only trade my two minions in perfectly for the health of his other minion, so on and so forth.

So, play nothing for 5 turns besides weapons and spells, and then follow up with Sunwalker, Fire Elemental, and a 2 cost thing from below, by which time I've already run out of cards that I can play that won't just be wiped out. Concede.

I mean, christ, I can take losing but I've been straight shut out of games for weeks. I don't know if I can work up the spirit to keep going anymore. Sigh.

With the card text on Misdirection I had assumed this would give a similar effect, where spells would be bound to legal targets and minions would wreak havoc among themselves and the heros. A cross between Yogg, misdirection, and spellbinder. This would have definitely met my expectations as the new Yogg, plus/minus a few benefits. 

If the tweet is truly confirmation that minions will still only attack the enemy ala the ogres, then it is reduced to a overcosted tech card against a combo heavy meta. RIP Noggenfogger, we hardly knew ye. 

Guess blizzard doesn't want another Yogg. Haha, guess that's not a terrible thing. 

I think people are severely underestimating this card. You can absolutely OBLITERATE your opponent from a solid board state unless they use a board clear or other incredibly niche counter.

While I don't think there will be yogg levels of insane turnarounds, you will see many a deck wipe their own board trying to remove this card. Base chance 1/3 to be targeted, gives insane protection to any "setup" cards that you need to stay on the board for a turn. 

It may not be top tier, but mark my words this is dark horse material. 

Launch is a keyword denoting something happening in a future turn, usually associated with mechanical cards. Just a delayed battlecry, in a sense. The main drawback of launch minions is their potential for being interrupted.

The next Keyword is: Flank

Cabalist's Tome just got a bit better.

Flamewreathed Faceless (Cards we love to hate)

Halt is an anti-aggro keyword denoting damage dealt to minions who attack your hero.

The next keyword is - Bribe

Rampage (Gives a minion an extra 3 health)