Because Hunters and Mages have all the fun (and Pallys too, I guess), I decided to make Secret cards for all of the other classes.
Warrior
Two Commons, one Rare, and one Epic. These focus mainly on dealing damage and keeping the enemy from dealing their damage.
"What do you mean they're attacking now?!"
This is the kind of card that is is completely useless in three out of ten games and ultimately pointless in another six, but when it does work, your opponent will hate you.
MY BODY IS READY!
For when you know you're about to take it in the face and want to give a little back.
Incoming!
A little bit of board clear to keep the fodder at bay or soften up the big guys a little, and the only Secret where you don't have to wait turn after turn until your opponent finally decides to trigger it. Combine with Sudden Counterattack for maximum salt.
Stop saying "retreat!" It's not a retreat!
Because not every minion in a Warrior's deck is meant to be in the thick of it. Lay this down when the big Taunt protecting your squishier minions is about to go down, and hope they don't have the AoE to kill them anyway.
Note that this card basically means you only get one Taunt that turn, since the Stealth overrides any remaining Taunts.
Warlock
As with the rest of his cards, a Warlock's Secrets can sometimes do more harm than good. Play them with care.
Damnit! Now I have to start all over!
It's like a reactionary Soulfire that will probably deal way more damage than it needs to, but at least you'll get something out of whatever you toss.
DON'T LOOK ETHEL!
To be played when your opponent has minions and you don't, or if they're going to go face and ignore that one card with the neat Battlecry (like that'll ever happen).
"But I thought youchecked the seal..."
This would probably either wipe the board, or just ruffle everybody's skirts.
Five secrets dealing with Totems, Overload, and Elementals. Of course, Secrets with Overload don't apply the Overload until they activate, so as to not give away the surprise.
A rock-solid defense.
Terribly sorry about that pun. Anyway, EarthShield is a basic defensive Secret in the same vein as Ice Barrier, but could be better or worse depending on what triggers it.
Tell me again why you though sticking a metalsword into a guy who was crackling withlightningwas a good idea.
Unlike other Overload-removal cards, this one requires your opponent to help you activate it. If they wait until your Overload is gone to hit you, it triggers anyway and wastes itself.
Do note, however, that Spell Damage adds to that little number 1 on the card, making it a multiplicative bonus instead of an additive one in this one special case. Good luck getting anyone to fall for that a second time, though.
Here Totem! Here boy!
Again, My own take on the Shaman card everybody makes. This secret is probably a waste for just one Totem, but it turns an enemy AoE into a game of Totem Roulette, and unlike Totemic Call, this card allows for duplicate totems.
That voodoo that you do.
Surprised? So was the Frog. And honestly, I’m surprised there aren't more cards relating to the most ignoble facet of Troll culture.
The Elemental Lords of Azaroth are not known for their teamwork skills.
At 4 Mana, Rouge Secrets are more expensive than any other class. Of course, Rouge Secrets are also the most dangerous of any class.
Hey, who took my spleen?!
Sneak Attack is a slightly weaker version of Snipe where it’s not a total waste if they toss a little weenie in front of it.
“It’s a trap!” –Unknown admiral
Similar to another Hunter Secret, Explosive Trap, except with a different trigger and a Draw effect.
What has it got in its pocketses?
No immediate effect, and it puts you at serious risk of overdraw, but look at how shiny those Coins are!
I see what you did there.
Because there needs to be at least one Card Draw based Secret.
That is a lot of gold…
And finally, perhaps the most dangerous Secret of them all. Overpowered? Maybe, but keep in mind that this is the one Mind Control effect where your opponent can choose what you take.
Priest
The question I asked myself here was not “Aren't Priests bad enough without Secrets?” It was “How can I make them worse?”
“It’s okay, you’re safe now.”
Annoying thing about Priests #1: Their minions never die.
“I won’t let you down!”
Annoying thing about Priests #2: Health buffs 4 dayz!
It’s amazing what you can do to a person once they’re already dead.
Annoying thing about Priests #3: They keep taking your stuff.
It’s a short, slippery slope between Shadow magic and Demonology.
I ran out of annoying Priest things, but Imps are annoying to.
Because Hunters and Mages have all the fun (and Pallys too, I guess), I decided to make Secret cards for all of the other classes.
Warrior
Two Commons, one Rare, and one Epic. These focus mainly on dealing damage and keeping the enemy from dealing their damage.
"What do you mean they're attacking now?!"
This is the kind of card that is is completely useless in three out of ten games and ultimately pointless in another six, but when it does work, your opponent will hate you.
MY BODY IS READY!
For when you know you're about to take it in the face and want to give a little back.
Incoming!
A little bit of board clear to keep the fodder at bay or soften up the big guys a little, and the only Secret where you don't have to wait turn after turn until your opponent finally decides to trigger it. Combine with Sudden Counterattack for maximum salt.
Stop saying "retreat!" It's not a retreat!
Because not every minion in a Warrior's deck is meant to be in the thick of it. Lay this down when the big Taunt protecting your squishier minions is about to go down, and hope they don't have the AoE to kill them anyway.
Note that this card basically means you only get one Taunt that turn, since the Stealth overrides any remaining Taunts.
Warlock
As with the rest of his cards, a Warlock's Secrets can sometimes do more harm than good. Play them with care.
Damnit! Now I have to start all over!
It's like a reactionary Soulfire that will probably deal way more damage than it needs to, but at least you'll get something out of whatever you toss.
DON'T LOOK ETHEL!
To be played when your opponent has minions and you don't, or if they're going to go face and ignore that one card with the neat Battlecry (like that'll ever happen).
"But I thought you checked the seal..."
This would probably either wipe the board, or just ruffle everybody's skirts.
Fun Fact: As with Sacrificial Pact, Hero Lord Jaraxxus counts as a friendly Demon. Because spiteful board clear.
Shaman
Five secrets dealing with Totems, Overload, and Elementals. Of course, Secrets with Overload don't apply the Overload until they activate, so as to not give away the surprise.
A rock-solid defense.
Terribly sorry about that pun. Anyway, Earth Shield is a basic defensive Secret in the same vein as Ice Barrier, but could be better or worse depending on what triggers it.
Tell me again why you though sticking a metal sword into a guy who was crackling with lightning was a good idea.
Unlike other Overload-removal cards, this one requires your opponent to help you activate it. If they wait until your Overload is gone to hit you, it triggers anyway and wastes itself.
Do note, however, that Spell Damage adds to that little number 1 on the card, making it a multiplicative bonus instead of an additive one in this one special case. Good luck getting anyone to fall for that a second time, though.
Here Totem! Here boy!
Again, My own take on the Shaman card everybody makes. This secret is probably a waste for just one Totem, but it turns an enemy AoE into a game of Totem Roulette, and unlike Totemic Call, this card allows for duplicate totems.
That voodoo that you do.
Surprised? So was the Frog. And honestly, I’m surprised there aren't more cards relating to the most ignoble facet of Troll culture.
The Elemental Lords of Azaroth are not known for their teamwork skills.
But if they don’t summon Ragnaros the Firelord, Al'Akir the Windlord, Neptulon, or Therazane*, this card sits there like an idiot. And because you have to know which Lord can get you what:
Ragnaros: Water Elemental
Neptulon: Fire Elemental
Al’Akir: Earth Elemental
Therrizane*: Dust Devil (subject to change)
*should she ever be added
Rouge
At 4 Mana, Rouge Secrets are more expensive than any other class. Of course, Rouge Secrets are also the most dangerous of any class.
Hey, who took my spleen?!
Sneak Attack is a slightly weaker version of Snipe where it’s not a total waste if they toss a little weenie in front of it.
“It’s a trap!” –Unknown admiral
Similar to another Hunter Secret, Explosive Trap, except with a different trigger and a Draw effect.
What has it got in its pocketses?
No immediate effect, and it puts you at serious risk of overdraw, but look at how shiny those Coins are!
I see what you did there.
Because there needs to be at least one Card Draw based Secret.
That is a lot of gold…
And finally, perhaps the most dangerous Secret of them all. Overpowered? Maybe, but keep in mind that this is the one Mind Control effect where your opponent can choose what you take.
Priest
The question I asked myself here was not “Aren't Priests bad enough without Secrets?” It was “How can I make them worse?”
“It’s okay, you’re safe now.”
Annoying thing about Priests #1: Their minions never die.
“I won’t let you down!”
Annoying thing about Priests #2: Health buffs 4 dayz!
It’s amazing what you can do to a person once they’re already dead.
Annoying thing about Priests #3: They keep taking your stuff.
It’s a short, slippery slope between Shadow magic and Demonology.
I ran out of annoying Priest things, but Imps are annoying to.
Random Imps include: Blood Imp, Flame Imp, and Worthless Imp
Druid
Druid’ s Secrets are mostly retaliatory, making your opponent second-guess their attacks or pay the price.
“Don’t worry, he’s fast asleep. Watch this…” –Famous last words.
A good way to strike back if you've lost Board Control, and it synergizes well with Druid’s other self-buff spells like Claw and Bite.
The real reason Druids don’t like being called a Scaredy Cat is because the truth hurts.
This card will only give you one turn to breath, but sometimes that’s all you need.
Also, this is the only way for a hero to gain Stealth.
Nature protects its own.
Gives you a little something to strike back with if you’re behind on the board. As always, watch out for enemy AoE.
Dark Wispers? What’s that?
The card Malfurion actually used at the end of Warcraft III.
It’s kind of an “equivalent exchange” deal. I hear nature’s pretty big on that.