Hearthpwn

Anyone else hear this card say "My Eggoes are eternal?" Might be just me but it seems like this shade really likes his waffles.

mukla's champion is almost always a turn 7 play, but it gives a permanent buff to all your minions. very, very useful in tipping over those close games and sealing good ones, but usually doesn't survive more than 1 turn. If it manages to survive for more than 1 turn, you've pretty much won. Plus it absorbs a removal cuz it screams "DANGER!!!" every time it's played. I run nerubian eggs in my deck, so it has a bit of synergy there; might be a little worse for your deck. Usually I put down either a fire elemental or a dr. boom beforehand, elemental just for tempo play/make sure mukla isn't easily killed,  dr. boom so I can (hopefully) have more bodies to buff.

gg patron warrior

living roots says hi

frost giant and crush came out with similar ones, but this one's still da best

Psh, let's be real guys; we all know this is going straight into the secrets paladin decks for DOUBLE COPIES OF SECRETS FUN:

Mysterious Challenger:

WHO AM I? WHO AM I??

NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! NONE OF YOUR FREAKING BUSINESS!!

(Disclaimer: this entire post is packed with copious amounts of sarcasm)

Has anyone tried this in a deck with things like Troggzor the Earthinator? If your opponent uses the bananas they buff your Troggs.

No, its really legit. If you disagree then just look at my in-game update screenshot. This is what happened at a rank 1 match and my opponent got to legend after this. Also, i am actually thinking of taking this deck off this website because it is too powerful for this world. And because our civilizations are not advanced enough to fully understand it, and contain its power, it could destroy us if it fell into the wrong hands.

Please, for your own safety, heed this warning. Hearthstone has been infected with many cancerous decks in it's time, but for some reason we still endure, hoping that things will change. We think that this has made us stronger, as gamers. We think that through suffering long enough against the cancer, we can learn to live with it. And for some of us this has worked. But unfortunately, some players have fallen to the plague, and joined it's side. Yet still, nothing has really changed. It is still a mystery as to why we play a game that is infected so badly with cancer and that brings out such animosity from within ourselves. But still, nothing has really changed.

I have been a fool of the highest degree. And what i have done is not just irreversible, but the single biggest mistake of my entire life. I loved this game with a burning passion and spent many a day locked within my abode, shifting the cards, game after game after game. I didn't need anything else in my life for i had found the perfect game. 

And i Ruined it.

News quickly spread of this this new deck i had uploaded onto the popular deck sharing website "Hearthpwn.com". I had never posted anything original on it before, but my newest creation was incredible and like nothing ever seen before. I had taken what seemed like the worst card in the game, and transformed it into a god. Originally, i planned on just making a funny deck which was obviously terrible and aimed to make as many magma ragers as possible. And it worked out well because people seemed to be amused by it. And whilst i slept at night waiting for the Grand Tournament to be released, i often dreamt of what it would be like to play this deck and get perfect rng every time. And it was hilarious, until the Grand Tournament was released.

After battling the horrible overloaded failure that was the EU server launch or The Grand Tournament, I decided to quickly open several new packs with one of my good friends, before the game crashed again. I had saved up gold for weeks, and bought over twenty packs, but i could not succeed in finding a single desperately sought after legendary. This was incredibly depressing for myself and my friend. But from the amongst the ashes, a hopeful beacon glimmered. The Frost Rager. 

Due to the hassle that the poor Blizzard server management brought, i had forgotten completely about my new "joke" deck. And it wasn't until i was playing a duel with my friend that i was remembered. I had just created a crappy deck that was filled with all of the new cards i had found, and i was informed that my friend had done the same. However, he didn't just make any new deck. He brought to life my Rager creation before my very eyes. At first i was startled. Naively confused at what situation i had just been brought into. So much so, that i was engulfed with the following sense of joy and the realisation that my friend had just brought my greatest dream to life. I laughed when he tried to unstable portal a Magma Rager. And was amazed when he actually succeeded. I laughed when he tried to gain a Magma Rager from his Effigy secret. And yet again i was completely dumbfounded. "How could anyone be this lucky?" i thought to myself. 

We soon realised that it wasn't luck. Something was wrong. After fifty nine trial duels he was still getting perfect rng. Getting the perfect top decks. Getting Ragers from every Unstable portal and Effigy. Making me draw all of my most expensive cards at the start of every game. Sometimes, and i mean very rarely, some of the ragers even gained wind fury for no apparent reason. None of us knew what to think, or do with this miracle, so we agreed to tell no one. Until we found out what was going on, no one else could know about our duels. We settled with this agreement for a good two hours into the night, right up until i decided to take a bathroom break. When i returned, my friend was a different man. I didn't notice at first, but (through Skype) it sounded like he was heavily fatigued. I asked when he had his last break and he said that he needs no rest and never has. At this point his breathing had clearly picked up. It sounded like he had just finished a race, or a tough exercise routine. It even sounded like there was froth in the back of his throat and that his speech was strained. He blamed it on his connection, and for a while i believed him. 

I asked him what he had been up to in the last fifteen minutes and to this he did not reply. It took ten minutes to get an answer, and this was only because i had started spectating one of his games. And whilst i had been away, he had broken his promise. He was playing ranked with my deck. Feeling let down i asked him why, but then i saw something: his rank. Somehow by playing my deck he had managed to reach legend (from rank 10) in under twenty minutes. I accused him of hacking but then remembered that he is not proficient enough to do such a thing. It didn't make any sense. Neither did my friend, who at this point was muttering an unintelligible phrase repeatedly to himself. I couldn't get a single clear response from him and no one else was online to help me. It was also three o'clock in the morning which ruled out any possibility of going to see him immediately. After an hour of failing to converse with him, i gave up and decided to sleep the night through and try to talk about it tomorrow. Maybe he was just severely dehydrated and didn't sleep well last night.

The next day, he wasn't online. This didn't make any sense at all because he practically lived on his computer. He wasn't answering any texts either. This made a little more sense, but still worried me further. Was he okay? This, i could not answer. I was planning on going to see him, but he lived on the other side of town, and the rain was so heavy that the bus lines were all cancelled. This storm was quite a spectacle. 

With nothing to do i decided to check Hearthpwn.com to see what new decks had been made and then it hit me. We agreed to tell no one about my deck but i had forgotten to remove my deck list from the website. How could i have been so foolish. I was about to delete it but then realised something. It was already to late. My deck had become so popular that it was on the front page of the website. Everyone who was anyone had already seen the deck and undoubtedly tried it already. Thousands reported 100% win rates along with reports of perfect rng every time. The miracle had spread. It wasn't just a bug, it actually worked. I had found the ultimate combination. The perfect system. The deck to end all decks. And everyone was playing it. And i mean everyone. I tried to play totem shaman shortly afterwards but kept playing against my own deck and losing every time. This continued for most of the day and i was tired of it. I always complained about running into the same decks over and over again, but now i had created the poison that killed me. I threw my computer aside in disgust and self loathing and ran for the door. 

The rain was much worse now. Roads had become canals. Several areas had become uninhabitable. Clouds burdening the blackened sky were unleashing the worst upon my town. But i pushed on, knowing that i needed to find my friend. This was an extreme test of my endurance, and it is something that i will not forget, but i eventually made it, despite almost being pressed against the floor from the weight of the rain. I walked around the front of the drive and saw that the front door was open. Water was gushing in, so i immediately decided to help by attempting to rush inside of the house and close the door. A lot of water made it in, but it didn't seem like too big of a problem. It was nothing compared to the other problem i found.

The electricity of the house seemed to be cut out and it was about 9 pm. This gave the house a sinister aura. I called to see if anyone was in, but there was no reply. Maybe they had left to find safer shelter from the storm. That would explain the open door. I thought i thought i heard something upstairs, so i decided to go and check out my friend's bedroom. Maybe he left something that could tell me where they went. 

Unfortunately, there were no clues about leaving to be found. Only the two dead bodies of my friend's parents mangled together on the floor of my friend's bedroom carpet. I threw up and left the room but then desperately searched the house for a sign of my friend. I found nothing, which lead me to believe that someone had taken advantage of the storm and broke into this house, murdered two people and kidnapped my friend. That is what i thought until i stumbled back into the bedroom. I noticed something more this time. Something that is still burned into my eyes as i am writing this. All over the walls, were messages written in blood. I couldn't read them at first but then i was sicked by a sense of deja vu. I had heard these passages before. The other night, when my friend was muttering something that i couldn't understand. This is what he was saying that night. My friend has killed his family, and written this with their blood on the walls. 

What could i do. All the phone lines were down at this point and it was nearly completely flooded and black outside. I had no idea where my friend had gone and did not feel safe. I needed to get out of there, but i knew that if i went outside now i might not make it back home breathing. All i could do was read the walls and attempt to fathom a meaning from this unspeakable mess. Over and over again i read it aloud:

You laughed at me as i went unused,                                                                                                                                                                             Cast aside like a worthless mess.                                                                                                                                                                               Now you'll want me. Now you'll need me.                                                                                                                                                                   For i am the bringer of the end.                                                                                                                                                                                     Hear my call, witness my roar,                                                                                                                                                                                         Give tribute to your new found lord.                                                                                                                                                                           For i am the Magma Rager,                                                                                                                                                                                                 and my fire will cleanse you all.                                                                                                                                                                                         

I made it home later that night. Just in time for the evacuation. Reports of murders during the storm have been spreading like a virus, and the weather only seems to be getting worse. I know what has happened. I have brought the end upon us. What seemed like a joke has turned into a cancer, so vicious, that it has started to destroy the very world we live in. Everyone who plays this game will soon be infected with the curse. Turn back before it is too late, and you follow the same fate as my friend. Un-install the game. Tell everyone you know to avoid it. Help stop this day of judgement. Climb the mountains and scream to whatever is up there to forgive us for what we have done. And then, and only then can we escape the curse that is this deck. I write this with my final breaths and i feel that my friend is close. He will end me soon. But i pray to whoever is reading this, that you help end this curse and free us all from this hell on Earth.

Godspeed,

Zjnx.

"This card should have been something completely different that I just pulled out of my ass."

After Cabal Shadow Priest , this is my most hated card. If a mage manages to clear your board with 2 of these it's basically GG.

 Also yea , i dont know how logical it is to write this flavor text on the card then put a picture of him WALKING ON FIRE.