Quote from JawsLoanCompany >>C'mon folks! Where's your sense of humor?
Sense of humour? For a shitpost that isn't particularly inventive or original? No offence but it'll take more effort than that, posts like these are a dime a dozen on plenty of other websites.
Well, they aren't here. Most people on here are entitled shit stains that can't let people enjoy things and only want to rage about the game.
It's nice to see a fun post like this once in a while.
Personally, I really enjoyed the read. Thanks.
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Or maybe some people don't get the point.
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Guys, it's finally happening!!!! Last night I had a vision in my dream and the Hearthstone devs told me about the nerfs and buffs that will go live later this week!!!! And believe me, they are craaaazy and will shake up the meta like a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick!!!!
First they told me, that they will nerf Darkglare two more times. The next version will see an increase of Mana Cost, but they also don't want to hit it too hard, so the will balance this with a minor adjustment to the effect:
And because they know that won't do all too much, they already decided to nerf it a fourth time two weeks later. Cutting some stats and balancing this with another minor adjustment:
Even though they consider The Demon Seed a perfectly fine and balanced Quest, they know that the power of it's support cards can cause mild frustration in Wild and Ranked players. Therefore they decided to change some of them.
Crystallizer is a premium stated minion in an already okayish deck, so they will tackle this problem by giving it stats of cards that otherwise rarely see play:
Next is the long overdue nerf to Raise Dead:
For changing Backfire they wanted to do something fun and unique. The goal is for it to resemble other popular cards with effects that players love dearly:
For the buffs they considered cards that rarely see play but the devs could not figure out why.
For Eye of the Storm for example, they thought, maybe the drawback of overloading for (3) is a little too punishing and adressing this will increase it's playrate:
They said they were very sad about fun and board focused cards like Darkmoon Rabbit seemingly being not flexible enough to adjust to the current meta. So they made it more flexible (and from a flavor perspective, more in tune with it's nature of hiding in the dark):
They also wanted to make old cards, that once were deck/meta defining to make a comeback in a more modern way, by looking at the design of today's deck/meta defining effects. You know, Anyfin Can Happen:
And finally they said, that they tried to create the most wholesome and rewarding card of the meta:
Hope you're all as excited for the upcoming meta as I am! Have a nice day :)
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I play Wild ONLY .... no Standard, no Classic, no Battlegrounds, no Arena, no Duels .... sometimes Brawl ....
I craft golden Wild Legendaries whenever possible .... since at least six months ....
I bought 15 Wild Packs on day of release ....
I know I bought some Barrens and Outland Packs to obtain my last Legendaries from these sets (which i did) - shortly before the Bundle release .... maybe that's what was taken into consideration. But I would always buy the more expensive Bundles, if they offer more value alltogether (especially for Wild, I play mostly for fun, so any stupid legendary is welcome) .... no idea why Blizzard does not know that by now.
Anyways, thanks for trying to help! :)
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I'm a Wild exclusive player .... would definitly buy the Wild Bundle .... just aquired my last Standard Legendaries last week .... get offered the two Standard Bundles .... FAIL
p.s.: If anyone knows how to get the Wild Bundle, I'd be thankful.
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Archivist should go to (7) mana with some stats adjustment .... it's mostly an Odd Warrior card.
Also no Patches? I see why, but still sad.
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I guess every card that won't return for Core Set 2022 will rotate to the Legacy Set and will be craftable.
Very likely indeed.
Yeah, we should receive the full set .... until it goes away next year.
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A CORE set without Core Hound? ... disappointed. Now they have to buff it's name to Legacy Hound.
Great reworks though.
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My bad, then we'll just nerf Shadowform to just summon Shadow of Nothing instead of dealing damage :)
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I do know that my latest posts about nerfs sparked quite a controversy. Not everybody agreed. So maybe I got it all wrong. Didn't pick the right cards, made flawed assumptions. In order to fix this problem, I went straight to hsreplay and looked up the 5 most played cards for Standard and Wild at the moment. These are the top tier offenders. Therefore they need to be hit with the nerf hammer! Hopefully Blizzard listens to the protest of the masses and takes some inspiration from my vision:
Honarable mention: Darkglare
As everybody knows, Darkglare was hit with the latest patch, but this didn't stop his reign of terror on ladder. Maybe nothing will. Therefore I skipped the second nerf and went straight for the third:
Nr. 5 (Standard): Dwarven Sharpshooter
A Dire Mole with an upside .... case closed. Also absolutely not in line with Hunters Class Identity. Tried to fix both:
Nr. 4 (S): Scavenger's Ingenuity
The stats nerf didn't do nothing. Maybe we should instead limit the pool of tutor targets:
Nr. 3 (S): Intrepid Initiate
This one hit everyone by surprise, as it turns out, a 1-drop with Spellburst that gains stats is quiet powerful. But hey, we're learning:
Nr. 2 (S): Tour Guide
Well, this obviously has no excuses. Let's bring our little friend more in line with similar cards:
Nr. 1 (S): Voracious Reader
Well beyond broken, I had to nerf this by A LOT!! So much so that I also had to give some small bonuses, just to even out the immense drawbacks:
Nr. 5 (Wild): Dirty Rat
Aggro, Tempo and Control's worst nightmare, this minion is WAY overstated for it's cost. How are you supposed to get through this WALL?? A little stats adjustment is all it takes:
Top 4 (W): Kazakus
For once I think, this is fine. But maybe, just maybe it's another case of .... let's bring this more in line with similar cards:
Nr. 3 (W): Zilliax
Yes, it's finally time to talk about an ongoing problem no one dares to speak out about (and it's not Chillwind Yeti!!) .... good old fits-right-in-about-every-deck Zilliax!! This one I wasn't sure about. How can you nerf a card as powerful and iconic as this?? Luckily someone at Blizzard reached out to me and explained that they will nerf it soon. This is what the design team came up with:
Nr. 2 (W): Reno Jackson
Actually a well designed card. So only minor changes:
Nr. 1 (W): Zephrys the Great
Oh well .... this one really shouldn't change too much either. Wishing for the perfect card must not be touched. Nevertheless I do know a way to limit it's power:
So guys, these would be my preferred nerfs for Standard and Wild. But because this list unfortunatly didn't contain any Priest cards (Kazakus, Reno and Zephrys don't count) and I do hate Raza Priest as much as anyone, let's also DESTROY Shadowreaper Anduins Hero Power just for the heck of it:
p.s.: No more nerf Threads in the near future. I'm done. Hope you enjoyed this one :)
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To all of you who enjoyed my little satire: I'm already planning a "Part 2". So if this post gets at least 5 upvotes, I'll do it :)