Hearthpwn

Second time I'm trying to make this. I accidentally hit a macro that went back a page...after writing ~5 paragraphs. Not happy.

So, I figured I'd give my views on the censored art situation. And then probably never use this site again since this pushed me over the edge and made me uninstall.

For context. Hearthstone has done their second round of censorship (the first round covered up Jaina's cleavage). The following cards were hit by it: Succubus (now Felstalker), Mistress of Pain (now Queen of Pain), Eviscerate, Secretkeeper, Windfury Harpy, Bite, Deadly Shot and Headcrack.

The worst of which (aside from muh waifus) are, in my opinon, Eviscerate, which now looks like the undead is recoiling in shock at the Rogue's yelling. And Headcrack, which looks more like a Magic the Gathering card than a Hearthstone card, not to give the new art smack, I think it's really comical and funny...but the old art is so, so much better.

I'd like to start by clarifying, this isn't because of social justice warrior libtards or third-wave feminists. This censorship was done to appeal to the People's Republic of China and Communist Party of China's censorship laws. China is a country known for their censorship, and I'm not going to tell a government how to run their country. Save the anti-communist shilling for later, plenty of countries have weird censorship laws. My country of Australia has banned plenty of games although that has decreased following the R18+ rating's introduction (it's the sole reason We Happy Few got released here), Germany removes/removed (I'm not sure if they still do) swastikas and references to Hitler from their games, Saudi Arabia banned the Pokémon trading card game because the normal energy symbol looked like the Star of David (and if there's one thing the Saudi government doesn't like, it's Jewish symbolism...and Judaism, and Israel, and Jews). This isn't something synonymous with "Chinese tyranny", it is how the Hearthstone team handled it that makes it really bad. Censorship is bad, I get it. But unless you want to go to Xi Jinping and get yourself arrested, there isn't much you can do.

This is not a new thing for Blizzard games. World of Warcraft is also famously censored in China to remove skeletons, bones, skulls. The Forsaken's model is censored, etc. The difference is, World of Warcraft's Chinese censorship extends only to Chinese servers. My Forsaken isn't censored in my Australian servers (Well...if I ever played Forsaken). That's their culture and their laws, and sure, they can do them. Hearthstone has decided to institute this to every server instead of just Chinese ones. That is why it really sucks.

I'd like to point your attention towards the censorship policy of another huge company, one notorious for their censorship, and one I never thought I'd be praising. Konami and it's Yu-Gi-Oh! franchise (which, by the way, is far better than Hearthstone...provided you don't play Salamangreats). Yu-Gi-Oh! cards (and the anime, but that's a far different story and infinitely more complex) are censored outside of the OCG.

To give an explanation, Yu-Gi-Oh! is divided into two regions, the OCG, which covers Japan, Hong Kong (though they haven't had new releases since 2016), South Korea (I'll explain it later), Malaysia, and some other places. And the TCG, which is everywhere else.

The OCG receives the uncensored card art, except for South Korea, which uses the censored TCG art and also receives TCG products and even some unique Korean exclusive cards (The Entity series were Korean exclusive at first), likely due to the...really bad Korean-Japanese relations and South Korean laws on Japanese products. It's a complicated mess, but South Korea is basically a fusion of the OCG and TCG.

The TCG receives the censored art, which no one in the TCG likes! Except for Monster Reborn, which was so popular and well liked the Japanese players begged for a Japanese release with the censored TCG art.

This also extends to Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Links, where unless you use the Japanese mobile version (which if you're outside of Japan, requires a proxy and a GPS faker...and you have to be able to read Japanese because you can't change the text without removing the art) or an art patch on Steam, you'll get the censored TCG art.

When I'm praising Yu-Gi-Oh! and Konami for their superior censorship, you know something is wrong.

To conclude, Hearthstone should have followed the likes of World of Warcraft and Konami to cater to Chinese laws. But they didn't, they decided to ruin waifus for everyone. There are many possible reasons, it could have been too hard, or they could just be lazy. It sucks, and it's the straw that broke the camel's back for me. This will not be the final wave of censorship.

One final thing, please refrain from the racism. This is a strictly governmental/business problem, I'm sure the average Chinese citizen doesn't give half a flying shit about this law. It's not their fault this happened.

Anyway, I'm probably going to never use this site again since I'm not playing Hearthstone anymore. So go ahead and flame me if I said something dumb, I'll never see it! Bye everybody!

Yu-Gi-Oh! also has censored art for non-Japanese people.

In Duel Links, if you want to see the Japanese art, you either download a fanmade art patch or you download the Japanese version. Konami doesn't destroy everyone's art.

Jade shmade.

https://hsreplay.net/replay/3AfocaQvfLJWEtybaoKKtJ

Finally beat heroic Dalaran Heist. Despite getting the absolute shit tier treasure Sow the Seeds.

I struggled more with Kalec than I did Khadgar, though that may be because I had Robes of Gaudiness into a turn 4 Dreamgrove Ring into 5 fucking The Beasts. Double Deathrattle anomaly is so unbelievably broken with Priest!

Imagine, you've got the perfect shit ready to destroy Heroic act 2. Priest, 1/1 anomaly, double Deathrattle.

Then you see that fucking whore Manastorm. All is going well, until she plays that piece of shit Security Rover. It's fine, I can just yeet its attack to 0 and not worry about it. Then the cunt attaches a Beryllium Nullifier to it, so now it is a threat. She gets my HP really low, but it's fine, I have a fucking Awaken the Makers that went off ages ago.

I start the turn off with some trading, trying to get rid of as much damage as possible. I swing some worthless Lackeys into her stuff so I can clear the board. Then I realise something "Hang on...I have 7 minions now." Immediately I let out a glorious "FUCK!", since I no longer have the space to play Amara, Warden of Hope. I try and recover, I have 12 HP, she can do nothing, her deck is empty. I try as hard as I can to clear as much stuff as possible. Of course, it doesn't work. And the thot hits me with exact lethal ending my great run 6 games in.

If dumb cunt me had been paying attention, I'd probably have beaten the last boss. My deck was broken. But I was a dumb fuck and fucked myself up by filling my board with retarded Lackeys.

Amen.

I think that this card, obviously, isn't very good. But that it's a card that should exist.

There's only 2 decks I can think of that "consistently" get you into fatigue. Mill Druid and Mill Rogue. Maybe in a control mirror you'll get to fatigue. But it isn't a regular thing. So, this card most of the time is a bad 7 mana 6/6.

If it's played and gets its battlecry, a Mill Rogue will just Vanish it or something. Unless they've used both. In which case, this is a very strong last ditch effort. But a Mill Rogue will just kill you with fatigue damage thanks to their infinite Coldlight Oracles. I don't know much about Mill Druid, but Druid doesn't have much for boardclears. So they'd probably concede. So that's two decks this card is made to counter. With only one really actually getting screwed by it. Not very good.

Let's look at the other option. This is for control mirrors that make to fatigue. So...maybe a Dragon Warrior mirror? Control Warrior? Quest Priest Mirror? IDK.

That's not a very common matchup spread. And even then, it's not guaranteed to make it to fatigue. So again, this card mostly is a 7 mana 6/6. Now, if a control match has made it to fatigue granted, the players will be far more likely to have spent their boardclears. In which case, this card likely would seal the game. Again, not too common.

In short, I think this is a card that just won't trigger often enough to be worth it. But when it does trigger, it does have a good chance to swing. I would say this is a card I would gladly keep in my collection, just in case. Not playable now, but a card that can be looked to in the future.

This isn't even mentioning shenanigans with Myra's Unstable Element, because I frankly don't think that will be anything more than a meme.

 I think that, while this is slow, the effect is actually really powerful. So powerful that I would want to make room for this in a Shaman deck. Aggro not as much, but every other Shaman deck (except even...) should probably cut out a space for such an explosive card.

This gets a 5/5 for me.

I think that the only deck that would really care about this +2 Spell Damage past turn 7 is Spell Hunter. I don't think Spell Hunter is going to want to run a Minion...

At least Rafaam's Scheme isn't the worst scheme anymore.

Wut.

Got my golden Priest yesterday! I am so happy!

Granted, my 500th win was against an AFK Priest. But I'm still so happy I got my golden Priest!

Racism, sexism, ageism. They're all bullshit reasons to discriminate on people.

The real way to discriminate is based on your deck. If you play Zoolock, you are worth less than a chimp, and are the inferior group of people. If you play Zoolock, you deserve your rights to be revoked. If you think playing Zoolock makes you anything other than the single most worthless piece of filth known to the world, then you're obviously the kind of mentally retarded moron who should be playing Zoolock, as you clearly lack the intelligence to play anything that requires even a slight amount of skill.

Quote from Bee >>

Quote from LobsterEmperor >>

Quote from Synthetikmisery >>

 If you are playing a lot of bots that means your MMR is low which means you have  been losing a lot and basically playing the worst players online at that moment. Get better and you won't see any bots at all.

 Wow, what a worthless and completely arrogant answer.

 How is it worthless ? He is absolutely right. 

 "You can't complain about bots, just GIT GUD!"

-Bee, and anyone who agrees with Bee

Quote from Karfhud >>

Never played against bot (since beta). Played mostly wild. Do you guys encounter this bots on ranked or casual mod? I'm just curious.

 Both ranked and casual, in wild.