Hearthpwn

I came here to salt. And i am considering deleting hearthstone for real this time. The game has become unplayable. So i will tell you what happened pretty much whole last week while i was playing hearthstone because wow didn't get a new patch yet. 

I come into hearthstone to play my highlander priest. I only play priest. I have ress priest, gala priest, highlander priest and meme zoo priest. So i go to ranked and play highlander.

I run into warrior. Pirate warrior. He pulls his shittly little minions, i clear them with pyromancer, dragons breath holy nova.. he's taking a little damage from me... fast forward i am on 10 mana. My board is like this: Alextrasza, 5/6 deathrattle dragon, 5/5 rush dragon, cobalt spellkin, wandmaker. 25 health with tons of more cards in my hand. His board is empty and he has around 20 hp. So with a buff like power infusion he's dead next turn right? No.. haha, no :)

You see he play a shitty little 1/4 rush windfury murloc. I look at it and i already have an ill feeling of what is going to happen but i tell to myself no... no way... Now he gives it charge +2, he gives it some ungodly buff that i couldn't even read the name of in the moment of mental breakdown, he makes it 13 attack. charge+ windfury. But that's not all. He summons that 3/3 card which copies damaged minions... he clears my board first for extra humiliation with one murloc and then kills me with the second. 

Game 2: Warlock

So i que again and run into warlock. Warlocks are usually pretty easy for me since they are slow. i outclear them in board and they have no face damage. So..hmm.. what could happen that a no hand damage class could shit on me? 

Well... we get to turn 8 nice and easy. He plays ticketus demon. Burns my zephyrus, galakrond, plague of death and 2 bad cards... My eye is already twitching but i continue playing. Then he casts ressurect 0 mana card and... yes :) He burns 5 more of my core cards, slowly pushing me into fatigue. I lose that game too.

Game 3: Rogue

Rogue throws a lot of small worm minions on board so i usually control them pretty well. But not this one. He equips 1/4 weapon that increases attack every time he hits with it. He puts posion on it, clears my 2/4 taunt with spells and just hits me repeatedly by 2 of those buffed weapons until i die being unable to outheal his incoming 10 damage per turn. (+ honorable mention from another rogue who killed me with pyroblast and 2 fireballs. i wish i was making this up)

Game 4: Mage

Shitter secret mage comes in with his toilet paper of a deck, which usually makes me laugh, but even this spineless ameba had a good starting hand and had to win eventually. He plays secretkeeper on 1. I have in hand gala, soulmirror, cobalt and another big card. He on 2 plays that 2/3 card that reduces the secrets to 1 mana... and coins a secret :) i still have no clears so i pass... he plays another secret keeper.. i'll end this story here but if you want spoilers it was over by turn 6.

Game 5,6 and 7:

Big druids. We know them. The guys who usually beg for a coin while sitting in front of a drink store with a beer in hand, catcalling anything that resembles female, including animal species and reeking from 20 yards away. Smelly, uncultured outcasts of society who are looked down upon by everyone else. When they go home after a long day of unproductive life waste they log into their battlenet account to play big druid decks. And i somehow always run into these unpleasant miscreations. 

I can feel it. Smell the grease of that 2 week unwashed hair as he plays that embiggen, as he gets that 10 mana in 3 turns. As i have to throw plague of death on his shitty 2 minions because they are both 12+ attack only for him to fill the board again, stroking his bruised ego in a card game, playing big druid. In game he is big druid, but in real life.. he is so small.

Between all of these abomination decks, there are noteworthy token druids, evolve shamans, face hunters, yogg saron players... but the post would be too long. My conclusion? Almost every single class is a mage now. Every class has 20+ damage in hand. Can you play around it? No. Can you stop it? No. You can control the board, be at full health, only to get lethal from hand. I miss playing my handlock years ago when game was slower and made more sense. Where board meant something and not everyone had lethal hand damage or gimmicky combos.

Will i uninstall? Probably. Will the next wow patch come out? Maybe in a year. Is blizzard a company that's falling apart? Yes. thank you Bobby Cocktick for all you've done.