Hearthpwn

Guys, it's finally happening!!!! Last night I had a vision in my dream and the Hearthstone devs told me about the nerfs and buffs that will go live later this week!!!! And believe me, they are craaaazy and will shake up the meta like a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick!!!!

First they told me, that they will nerf Darkglare two more times. The next version will see an increase of Mana Cost, but they also don't want to hit it too hard, so the will balance this with a minor adjustment to the effect:

And because they know that won't do all too much, they already decided to nerf it a fourth time two weeks later. Cutting some stats and balancing this with another minor adjustment:

Even though they consider The Demon Seed a perfectly fine and balanced Quest, they know that the power of it's support cards can cause mild frustration in Wild and Ranked players. Therefore they decided to change some of them.

Crystallizer is a premium stated minion in an already okayish deck, so they will tackle this problem by giving it stats of cards that otherwise rarely see play:

Next is the long overdue nerf to Raise Dead:

For changing Backfire they wanted to do something fun and unique. The goal is for it to resemble other popular cards with effects that players love dearly:

For the buffs they considered cards that rarely see play but the devs could not figure out why.

For Eye of the Storm for example, they thought, maybe the drawback of overloading for (3) is a little too punishing and adressing this will increase it's playrate:

They said they were very sad about fun and board focused cards like Darkmoon Rabbit seemingly being not flexible enough to adjust to the current meta. So they made it more flexible (and from a flavor perspective, more in tune with it's nature of hiding in the dark):

They also wanted to make old cards, that once were deck/meta defining to make a comeback in a more modern way, by looking at the design of today's deck/meta defining effects. You know, Anyfin Can Happen:

And finally they said, that they tried to create the most wholesome and rewarding card of the meta:

 

Hope you're all as excited for the upcoming meta as I am! Have a nice day :)

i wish you had visited an madhouse last night, then no one have to see this crap of a post 

This is a lot of work for such a pointless post

Or maybe some people don't get the point.

I enjoyed the read. 

Well done - best post in a while!  You are truly a visionary.

Had a true LOL moment when I saw Anyfin Can Happen :)

HS community really has never heard of a shitpost, huh? This is glorious lol

Zeddy, is that you?!

C'mon folks! Where's your sense of humor?

Some morons take everything too seriously and continue playing this shit even when it makes them mad.

Great post op

Blizzard drones still ragging in a obvious funny post, good job OP, and for the butthurts please relax you can still play your mage and warlock quest.

Quote from JawsLoanCompany >>

C'mon folks! Where's your sense of humor?

 Sense of humour? For a shitpost that isn't particularly inventive or original? No offence but it'll take more effort than that, posts like these are a dime a dozen on plenty of other websites.

Quote from Kurgo >>

Quote from JawsLoanCompany >>

C'mon folks! Where's your sense of humor?

 Sense of humour? For a shitpost that isn't particularly inventive or original? No offence but it'll take more effort than that, posts like these are a dime a dozen on plenty of other websites.

 Well, they aren't here. Most people on here are entitled shit stains that can't let people enjoy things and only want to rage about the game.

It's nice to see a fun post like this once in a while.

Personally, I really enjoyed the read. Thanks.

I enjoyed and laughed at all of these, except ultrasaur. Because you made a pretty cool and powerful card, I mean I know, turn 10 lol haha, but still, it's a nice card, not game breaking and not a meme, so the joke got lost.

Raise dead is the best one I think, obvious shout out to First Day of School so it really feels like a possible "nerf"

And that Eye of the Storm minor buff is actually a nerf, I wonder if this was intentional or if you were going with the "pointless nerf" vibe

"Brilliant!" - Tyrande

The humor was lost on me.  The mods on here are weird.  I've had like 10 threads locked and yet this one gets to live.

Sorry, but this thread is pretty worthless.  I don't mind a humor thread once in a while, but they have to have humor.  This just felt like someone describing a dream.  An incoherent stream of consciousness.  

 

Again, sorry.

 

why am i not surprised it's one of these threads again

big shocker