Interesting post, thanks for sharing your story, although I'm pretty sure there are way better places for you to go if you are seeking serious advice.
Anyway, I have some of the same issues, except the only really negative experience I have is with a feeling of stress and anxiety. It basically makes playing ladder over rank 15 too stressful for me to enjoy. And I hate things like Brawliseum. So I usually just play around rank 20 to 15 and try to relax and just enjoy the game for what it is.
Second thing is doing push ups and sit ups in between games. Exercise helps calming me down. And it is healthy.
This is great advice, I do this as well! A couple years ago a guy on reddit posted a "Get fit with Hearthstone" sheet (see attachments). It's outdated by now, but it's not too much effort to update the sheet for the current meta/cards.
This is something I hate about myself as well. It's just stupid how a video game can make you feel so much pointless anger. I've actually just started to really focus on being more positive since the beginning of this week. I'm not sure what exactly made me improve the most, but here's what I've been doing:
- I greet people at the start of every game. If they greet back, great! If they don't, it's probably best to squelch them because most likely they're either going to BM or not emote at all. I used to squelch people at the start of every game, but I found out that it really helps to feel like you're playing against an actual human being who is just trying to have fun, like you.
- I try to force myself to say 'well played' when I lose a game. I feel like this helps me to better accept my loss, instead of getting frustrated by it. Plus it makes me feel more positive when I compliment people.
- If the game I just experience has had some crazy moments or if it was really close, I add the person I just played against and just say something like 'gg' or 'well played, that was a cool game'. This way you focus more on the positive side instead of the negative.
- This might actually be really dumb but at the same time it has been effective for me. I don't know if you're aware of the whole 'Pewdiepie vs T-series' meme, but basically T-series is close to surpassing Pewdiepie and becoming the most subscribed channel on youtube and there's this whole meme of 'doing your part' which means you have to tell people to subscribe to Pewdiepie. So I decided I would add people as a friend after a loss and (if I had nothing positive to say) tell them to subscribe to Pewdiepie. I think this helps me take my mind of the loss and focus on something else.
- Possibly the most important thing is that I have focused on is having a more positive attitude during the game. I used to get frustrated at every unlucky moment, and those emotions can pile up really fast and they make you play worse as well. Instead I try to predict the worst outcome, ready myself for it happening and be like 'damn, oh well I'll try again next time'. Sorry if this point is confusing, I don't know how to best explain it but it works for me.
I hope these things help you as well, remember that the most important thing is to relax and have fun! Good luck. :)
The game can be infuriating at times. But it is still just a game. Whenever I get pissed I try and take a break.
Ranked play shouldn't be stressful. It really doesn't matter what your rank is... although of course we all like gaining stars. But I know that some months I just get on really long lucky streaks, or really long unlucky ones. There really seems to be little rhyme or reason to it.
Remember, you're not alone. We all go through this. Come here, vent, chat, and try to blow off steam.
And if anyone wants to add a friend online please send me a DM. Would love to have more people to rant to when I get screwed over myself!
Like some other members here, I have very limited time to play being a father of an 8 month old. I get salty when after working I get a moment to play and lose..especially if that’s the only game I had time for. Feels like wasted time.
Then other days you are the lucky one. It all balances out in the end.
I’ve only been dad legend twice with my highest being R3.
This is an incredible post and I just want to say that I am so proud of you for being willing to come forward and admit your own faults, and to say that you want to fix them. That takes incredible amounts of strength.
If you want to know why you react the way you do to losing, you have to look at the circumstances of your life. I don't know anything about your experiences, so I can't point to any one thing and say "this is what's responsible for your feelings," but I can do that with myself. I'm a very proud player. I happen to think I'm pretty good at the game and at deck-building in particular. I'm also a little arrogant. I tend to talk myself up and convince myself of how good I am at playing and deck-building. Because of that, when my decks don't win, I feel I've failed. When I don't win, I feel I've failed. I've been unsuccessful at living up to the expectations I created for myself, and that makes me feel like a failure.
So that's what bothers me about losing, but it might be something entirely different for you. I tend to think that a lot of the toxic behavior in hearthstone culture is learned from watching streamers. They set the example, and rationalize feelings that we all experience, but which we often struggle to put into words. "I lost this game and I feel bad, but I don't know why I feel bad. I can't explain it." "Well I can explain it. It's because he's a lucky piece of shit who had better RNG." Now, that's why they're upset. Is that the reason why you're upset? Maybe not, but then you investigate the statement, say "Hey it's true, this guy did get a little lucky," and because you can't disprove it, you now think that's the source of the problem, when in reality, they just had a suggestion and you couldn't think of a better one.
I wish I had a solution. Unlearning the toxic culture is something I've been struggling with myself, especially the culture that surrounds emoting. Why I get so bothered by emotes I'll never know. I used to love emoting. Now I feel like it's rude and I don't know why. I think, to some extent, you can blame the tendency of people to want to be outraged all the time. Something about being outraged is addicting (which is also the reason why politics is so inflammatory). It creates this rush. You just have to identify something more valuable.
You feel bad because you lost to an rng-based hero power that generates infinite value. I love Rexxar but that card is toxic and needs a nerf (which it won't get, so it needs to rotate).
i think in hindsight you won't feel so bad, but this is a great example of how bad design affects players. Good design leaves you saying "That player was good," while bad design leaves you feeling like you were cheated out of a win by luck. The worst design makes you feel like your plays and decisions don't matter (Malygos/Mecha'thun druid, Shudderwock shaman, etc.)
best of luck, and try to stay conscious of when you get tilted. Don't play when you're angry or super frustrated!
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Rage quitting: the best way to ensure your opponent knows they beat a giant baby.
The replies to the OP’s post have given me some hope.
Since RR came out I’ve not been enjoying the game at all. It feels too much like my real life. Aggro aggro aggro. Defend defend defend. Win or lose. It’s not what I downloaded the game for. It’s not relaxing and there’s no escape.
I just can’t seem to find a deck that plays a fair strategy and stands some chance at playing a game. I actually dread opening the game at the minute. I’m hating this expansion. :(
Wow, this discussion is getting surprisingly healthy, for a post about toxicity!
So I am the complete opposite of OP! Although I take the game very seriously, I never ever get toxic. When I get savagely recked, I get a good laught out of it. It's true! When things are going south, I begin to see the game as something crazy and funny. If a match goes on several turns when either of us is so close to dying, I even start laughing out loud, and end up smiling even if I lost.
And that's because the game doesn't always say something about you. It only matters that you did the best you could do.
Honestly, I think getting upset at losing isn't necessarily a terrible thing. It means you care and your invested. Games are a lot more interesting when your invested. It will give you the desire to increase your skills. Now losing control of yourself is another story. If you find yourself breaking stuff or doing things that are affecting yourself and others in a negative way that's something you should address. If your breaking things or hurting others verbally that is not ok. If your just emoting others and cursing to yourself that's not such a big deal.
knock ur boots onto the table, crack open a cold one and enjoy a good sports match, tv series or movie, or maybe ur the reading type of guy. just chill and think that some losses are out of our grasp and u cant be mad about that.
Interesting post, thanks for sharing your story, although I'm pretty sure there are way better places for you to go if you are seeking serious advice.
Anyway, I have some of the same issues, except the only really negative experience I have is with a feeling of stress and anxiety. It basically makes playing ladder over rank 15 too stressful for me to enjoy. And I hate things like Brawliseum. So I usually just play around rank 20 to 15 and try to relax and just enjoy the game for what it is.
This is great advice, I do this as well! A couple years ago a guy on reddit posted a "Get fit with Hearthstone" sheet (see attachments). It's outdated by now, but it's not too much effort to update the sheet for the current meta/cards.
Arena EU Leaderboard
This is something I hate about myself as well. It's just stupid how a video game can make you feel so much pointless anger. I've actually just started to really focus on being more positive since the beginning of this week. I'm not sure what exactly made me improve the most, but here's what I've been doing:
- I greet people at the start of every game. If they greet back, great! If they don't, it's probably best to squelch them because most likely they're either going to BM or not emote at all. I used to squelch people at the start of every game, but I found out that it really helps to feel like you're playing against an actual human being who is just trying to have fun, like you.
- I try to force myself to say 'well played' when I lose a game. I feel like this helps me to better accept my loss, instead of getting frustrated by it. Plus it makes me feel more positive when I compliment people.
- If the game I just experience has had some crazy moments or if it was really close, I add the person I just played against and just say something like 'gg' or 'well played, that was a cool game'. This way you focus more on the positive side instead of the negative.
- This might actually be really dumb but at the same time it has been effective for me. I don't know if you're aware of the whole 'Pewdiepie vs T-series' meme, but basically T-series is close to surpassing Pewdiepie and becoming the most subscribed channel on youtube and there's this whole meme of 'doing your part' which means you have to tell people to subscribe to Pewdiepie. So I decided I would add people as a friend after a loss and (if I had nothing positive to say) tell them to subscribe to Pewdiepie. I think this helps me take my mind of the loss and focus on something else.
- Possibly the most important thing is that I have focused on is having a more positive attitude during the game. I used to get frustrated at every unlucky moment, and those emotions can pile up really fast and they make you play worse as well. Instead I try to predict the worst outcome, ready myself for it happening and be like 'damn, oh well I'll try again next time'. Sorry if this point is confusing, I don't know how to best explain it but it works for me.
I hope these things help you as well, remember that the most important thing is to relax and have fun! Good luck. :)
The game can be infuriating at times. But it is still just a game. Whenever I get pissed I try and take a break.
Ranked play shouldn't be stressful. It really doesn't matter what your rank is... although of course we all like gaining stars. But I know that some months I just get on really long lucky streaks, or really long unlucky ones. There really seems to be little rhyme or reason to it.
Remember, you're not alone. We all go through this. Come here, vent, chat, and try to blow off steam.
And if anyone wants to add a friend online please send me a DM. Would love to have more people to rant to when I get screwed over myself!
Like some other members here, I have very limited time to play being a father of an 8 month old. I get salty when after working I get a moment to play and lose..especially if that’s the only game I had time for. Feels like wasted time.
Then other days you are the lucky one. It all balances out in the end.
I’ve only been dad legend twice with my highest being R3.
This is an incredible post and I just want to say that I am so proud of you for being willing to come forward and admit your own faults, and to say that you want to fix them. That takes incredible amounts of strength.
If you want to know why you react the way you do to losing, you have to look at the circumstances of your life. I don't know anything about your experiences, so I can't point to any one thing and say "this is what's responsible for your feelings," but I can do that with myself. I'm a very proud player. I happen to think I'm pretty good at the game and at deck-building in particular. I'm also a little arrogant. I tend to talk myself up and convince myself of how good I am at playing and deck-building. Because of that, when my decks don't win, I feel I've failed. When I don't win, I feel I've failed. I've been unsuccessful at living up to the expectations I created for myself, and that makes me feel like a failure.
So that's what bothers me about losing, but it might be something entirely different for you. I tend to think that a lot of the toxic behavior in hearthstone culture is learned from watching streamers. They set the example, and rationalize feelings that we all experience, but which we often struggle to put into words. "I lost this game and I feel bad, but I don't know why I feel bad. I can't explain it." "Well I can explain it. It's because he's a lucky piece of shit who had better RNG." Now, that's why they're upset. Is that the reason why you're upset? Maybe not, but then you investigate the statement, say "Hey it's true, this guy did get a little lucky," and because you can't disprove it, you now think that's the source of the problem, when in reality, they just had a suggestion and you couldn't think of a better one.
I wish I had a solution. Unlearning the toxic culture is something I've been struggling with myself, especially the culture that surrounds emoting. Why I get so bothered by emotes I'll never know. I used to love emoting. Now I feel like it's rude and I don't know why. I think, to some extent, you can blame the tendency of people to want to be outraged all the time. Something about being outraged is addicting (which is also the reason why politics is so inflammatory). It creates this rush. You just have to identify something more valuable.
You feel bad because you lost to an rng-based hero power that generates infinite value. I love Rexxar but that card is toxic and needs a nerf (which it won't get, so it needs to rotate).
i think in hindsight you won't feel so bad, but this is a great example of how bad design affects players. Good design leaves you saying "That player was good," while bad design leaves you feeling like you were cheated out of a win by luck. The worst design makes you feel like your plays and decisions don't matter (Malygos/Mecha'thun druid, Shudderwock shaman, etc.)
best of luck, and try to stay conscious of when you get tilted. Don't play when you're angry or super frustrated!
Rage quitting: the best way to ensure your opponent knows they beat a giant baby.
The replies to the OP’s post have given me some hope.
Since RR came out I’ve not been enjoying the game at all. It feels too much like my real life. Aggro aggro aggro. Defend defend defend. Win or lose. It’s not what I downloaded the game for. It’s not relaxing and there’s no escape.
I just can’t seem to find a deck that plays a fair strategy and stands some chance at playing a game. I actually dread opening the game at the minute. I’m hating this expansion. :(
Wow, this discussion is getting surprisingly healthy, for a post about toxicity!
So I am the complete opposite of OP! Although I take the game very seriously, I never ever get toxic. When I get savagely recked, I get a good laught out of it. It's true! When things are going south, I begin to see the game as something crazy and funny. If a match goes on several turns when either of us is so close to dying, I even start laughing out loud, and end up smiling even if I lost.
And that's because the game doesn't always say something about you. It only matters that you did the best you could do.
Honestly, I think getting upset at losing isn't necessarily a terrible thing. It means you care and your invested. Games are a lot more interesting when your invested. It will give you the desire to increase your skills. Now losing control of yourself is another story. If you find yourself breaking stuff or doing things that are affecting yourself and others in a negative way that's something you should address. If your breaking things or hurting others verbally that is not ok. If your just emoting others and cursing to yourself that's not such a big deal.
knock ur boots onto the table, crack open a cold one and enjoy a good sports match, tv series or movie, or maybe ur the reading type of guy. just chill and think that some losses are out of our grasp and u cant be mad about that.
Plenty of times I've hit a losing streak and just have to put the game down. If it's not fun any more then don't play.
A Christmas miracle! This thread, long since dead, was revived!