Hearthpwn

Hi it's me again bringing you another guide to another deck you will soon see everyone fucking playing. This is the newest incarnation of Miracle Rogue which literally just craps out deal with it or die situations, and if you are smart, it's usually a them dying situation.

So Just to give you a quick overview of how the deck is played. The deck revolves around shitting out a bunch of bs strategies that really shouldn't be allowed in the game, but for some reason are. 

Strategy one: Make a turn three Edwin van cleef that's an 8/8 and just hood stomp the shit out of their face until the game is over

 Strategy two: Control the game until you can drop massive arcane giants and hope they live long enough to win you the game. 

Strategy three: Rng their good spells using the amazingly "skill" card Hallucinate.

Obviously your ultimate strategy here would be a combination of all three, which no joke is when the deck is it's most fun. Watch as your opponent hovers over various cards in their hand, trying to figure out what the hell to do. Should they give you a card and stop your spell damage? is it time for them to waste their mass removal? What else could this rogue be up to? If you play this deck right you can literally feel the 23 year old college drop out on the other end of the table, having a panic attack and existential crisis. 

So if you like math, and making your opponent feel robbed. Have I got a deck for you. 

If you guys get up to 50 upvotes on this I will do a mulligan guide

100 stupid pushes of that green button gets you a general guide to the strategies I just listed

Every 25 up votes after that gets you a class by class guide.

 

 50 Upvote Reward

Mulligan guide

 So you guys finally did it, you dragged me out to go ahead an do a fucking mulligan guide, Huzzah. If I sound sarcastic it's because doing a mulligan guide for this deck is actually very difficult. It's like trying to drive your car while masturbating, you can do it, but it's just an embarrassing mess if you get it wrong. So I will try to make it as simple as possible. so you unlike me, can avoid being stalked by lonely truckers across half of ohio. 

Murlocadin, Hunter, Pirate warrior, misc aggro

 So as we try very hard here to go ahead and put ourselves in the mind of our opponent. What are they playing and what do we bring to the table. First of all try to not keep eviscerate, it's a late game card. So we have razorpetal who is a two mana 2/2 that gives you a 1 mana ping, this is a great card against hunter and murlocadin because the body can deal with their turn two, and the ping clears their turn one. Of course your backstabs are important here too. Swash burglars are also your friends. Fan of knives is good cycling but it's damage is pretty meh, so I would not keep this unless you have a plan for it, or it's the best card you got in your opening hand. 

Against control, Taunt warrior, priest, misc tech bullshit

Card generation is gonna be key in this match up, and slamming down our combos early. keeping your two mountain giants against painfully slow deck is great, forces them to deal with turn four 8/8's, the meta really has trouble with that, and that is why you see those wild bittertide hydras now and again. of course look for gadgetzean and keep him if you have a good plan to drop him and draw your entire deck. The key here when mulliganing is to be trying to play your game, as fast as you can. Playing against other control decks, you know very well they need to get to turn 9/10 to be lethal, this deck can be lethal turn six. So when it comes to controlling the situation you are in charge.

Notable combo that work vs aggro and control

Edwin van cleef + coin + counterfeit coin + back stab (can also include, razorpetal, swashbuckler, other one drops) = So Basically with this hand by turn 1- 3 you can just shit out a 6/6 -10/10 edwin, it kinda puts all your eggs in one basket, but if they can't deal with all them eggs, it's a damn good basket. 

swashburglar + swashburglar + hallucinate (any variation) = it's a lot of rng but you can end up ripping early or late game items that really are gonna change the way you wanna play your deck. Making this play early on gives you a ton of versatility and decision making opportunity you wouldn't get if you played these fucking cards as your last three cards. Just saying

Mountain giant + hallucinate + swashburglar = this is sort of the inspiration behind putting these giants in the deck. You spend so much time with this deck generating options you sometimes need to drop something round turn 5. Why not mountain giant?

 

Update 4/25

Explanation of miracle rogue through the ages

Now a major area of salt on this board has been the allegation that my deck is a shameless rip off of Someone name Eloise. While our decks share some similarities to call it a rip off is a little short sighted. So let me see if I can put this in perspective. 

Miracle Rogue is an archetype, it's existed since beta, it was so prevelant they actually had to nerf auctioner going into the GVG expansion, because they realized the spare part gave that card way to much momentum.

See when miracle rogue started you played questing warriors, and mana addicts to just swarm your opponent and you used your gadgetzan auctioner to resupply

The game changed and the deck changed given new tools to futher it's archtype the deck evolved but kept a lot of the same core mechanics, cheap spells, simple removal and a few combo cards to give those cheap spells some value. 

So on and so fourth it went until we have what is now known as "Eloise's" Miracle Rogue, because hearthstone has become a game with a limited number of decks, and even fewer archetypes it appears that an individual can own the archetype, correct? 

Sorry but that's bs and it's wrong. An archetype is just that, my deck does this thing; spam minions, use secrets, abuse freebies, rng good cards. All of these are archetypes of decks that help you get to where you are going, your win condition. Whether that be an otk, big late game threats, or fatigue, the archetype of your deck is just a framework to get you to your win condition.

Is this deck similar in some ways, absolutely. This is the reason that this site literally has a similar deck tag located on every deck list page.

Now I am writing this to make it clear that I do not in any way feel like a plagarist, and the allegations that I may be one are honestly fairly annoying. I also know that nothing I say or do will ever dissuade anyone from that opinion. They set their teeth in and they are out for blood. For the rest of you though who understand that the differences between any one hearthstone deck vs any other similar deck are gonna be mostly minimal I hope this puts it in perspective. But as just a small piece of added evidence to my claim

http://www.hearthpwn.com/decks/6824-force-miracle-rogue

Here's a link to miracle mage around beta. 

http://www.hearthpwn.com/decks/736738-miracle-rogue-gadgetzan-standard

here's a link to miracle mage post gadgetzan

http://www.hearthpwn.com/decks/716470-january-2017-legend-33-13-miracle-video

here's a miracle mage pre ungoro

Do your fucking homework kiddies. 

 Update 4/28

General guide to deck piloting

 

So what we have here in this deck is a magical combination of anti meta tools, that are just so fun to play around with that it will almost make your dick hard. Almost. Starting off every game you wanna look across that table and see what you are playing against. Are we gonna need early game minions and weak spells to deal with low level threats and asinine board progression from aggro? Can we sit back and just hold a gadgetzan auctioner and draw our entire deck turn 4-6? The reason you need to ask yourself this, is because this deck has all of the tools necessary to deal with whatever beta male strategy your opponent brought to the table. 

When we start our games we wanna play the same way we seduce women. Awkwardly, but efficiently. Don't lock yourself into anyone strategy right away and try to make smart trades. As mentioned earlier, definitely keep an eye out for your deal with or die combos (big edwins turn 3-4 vs aggro and early game razor petals for aggro, also watch for those fan of knives if you just have a shit tier hand). We also want to plan our hallucinates very well when we get a chance to use them. Should we be saving them for combos or are there some good early game options in my opponents class? Don't get tunnel vision on a legendary you will probably never get a chance to play, or really isnt all that good.

Let me go ahead and slow down for a second. This is not an auto pilot deck. You truly need to be considering what your moves are doing for you as you progress through the game, and you also need to be uncomfortably aware of how easily that plan can fall apart and ideally have a backup. This deck is like the swiss army knife of decks right now. You can deal with any situation provided you plan for it. We will get more into planning against specific decks later.

Mid game we are obviously looking to set down an auctioneer and draw to the bottom of our deck. "But Daniel!" I hear you asking "I can't draw into my gadgetzan to save my life." Well without a unanswered giant van cleef, or really tricky tech plays you are gonna be in trouble in this situation. Not unlock jade druid from the last set, this decks iron hard cock is that auctioneer, he's what takes this deck from viable in the early game, to rage inducing in the late game. So if it's looking like you are not gonna get him, you'll have to go all in on another strategy; such as dumping your hand like a fat chick your friends saw you with; so you can force out an arcane giant for 5 mana and maybe swing the board. Trying to steal synergies from their decks and using those to keep your game together. Sometimes with this deck you gotta play the hail mary and thus we get to our big late game addition. 

Yogg saron Is not your fun time lets party card. This is your "I have run out of fucking ideas so Ill just pray to my false god and hope for the best". He was after some serious testing added to this deck as a sort of "Surprise motherfucker". Ideally you want your late game to be one fell swoop with two arcane giants followed by a bunch of damage, but sometimes this just isn't enough. So you drop a yogg and baby it could be the best time of your life. You could also eat  3 pyro blasts to the face and die hilariously.

Tl;dr Version

Make good trades, use spells effectively, draw an auctioneer, set up check mate situation using some of the insane tools in this deck, and don't forget to pray to our old god yogg. Happy hunting kiddies. 

Vs. Questing Rogue

Questing rogue can be one of the most infuriating match ups for any deck. When that deck hits perfect there is so little we can do to stop them it makes me wanna bleed out of every orifice at once. Even on a mediocre start their deck can give us a lot of trouble. The deck has become more prevalent as it seems of late so I thought I would address it first. One tool we brought to the table to dismantle this malignancy of a deck is Dirty Rat. Against this match up baby, dirty rat is nothing to turn away from. You are denying them that crucial playing of a card and quest trigger. If you can successfully hallucinate or swashburglar a shadow step, and do this more than once, you are gonna be watch an auto concede almost every time in this situation. Another strategy to dealing with this deck is to treat it how you would treat a low level threat aggro deck. Dealing with their generally soft minions as they come, and keeping the board clear to mitigate how powerful their turn 5 is gonna be. Another great solution to the problem of this deck, and keep in mind this requires some finesse; is to go ahead and just slam out your arcane giants round turn four or five by dumping all your damage spells and coins early, so you can get a better board presence and drop the arcane giant before or on the heels of their quest. Your 8/8 will commonly be able to deal with two threats from them and if they havent been getting their elemental tokens, this is a real problem for them. As I have stated before their deck runs only 6-8 charge minions. Meaning while the threat of losing all your health the next turn does exist, it is not as common as some people think. As always an early game van cleef with a big butt can also really throw them down a world of hurt and end the game before they even hit 2 triggers on their quest. 

Tl;DR Version: This is one of the match ups where we are looking to deal the most damage we can, in the least amount of time. This deck isn't meant to be played as aggro, but against this match up, we need to go ahead and think like we are playing aggro. A lot of these games are gonna come down to you have that last 1 or 2 damage to finish them before they can finish you, so anything you can do to get there and stay there is what you need to be doing. 

Vs. Priest (both stupid versions)

Hahahahahahahhahahahhahah, just fucking kill them. Like seriously priest is a fucking joke right now. You could keep an opening hand of coins and preparations and still beat them. Priest is the like the Micheal Jackson of this meta. It wen't to sleep and never woke up. BA DUM TISK