The new expansion has given us a brand new bounty of shelled snappers, ready to grace our screens with their glorious scales. If you wish to see the insightful commentary and stellar strategy of the old version of this deck, feel free to check out the spoiler below.
Get ready for the crushing new Turtle meta coming in April. Paladins, unfortunately, have their Turtle rotating - Rest In Wild, Tuskarr Jouster - but not to worry, Druids have taken up the reins and are ready to get Beastly with it!
Wait, sorry, what? They're not Beasts? But Oasis Snapjaw... alright whatever.
Anyway, this here is the ultimate guide to how you should be using your fantastic new cards.
UPDATE: Shifter Zerus - I have heard the will of the believers of the Turtle, and have seen the way forward. Our new Disciple, to those with enough skill, will always be a Turtle. For those of you skilled (and Wild) enough, he could even be our long lost prophet Tuskarr Jouster, or the Master of Turtles himself, Mal'Ganis. Yogg speed, friends!
Stonehill Defender - A Turtle that can Discover more Turtles! This guy knows how to win games.
Oasis Snapjaw - The original Turtle. And he's a Beast, see, that's so dumb, why... Ahem. This guy shows what it means to really Turtle - hunker down and scare 'em off.
Shellshifter - This is a strange one, because she doesn't like staying a Turtle for long, but we accept her just the same.
UPDATE: Elise the Trailblazer - What do you mean you don't want an Un'goro pack? Un'goro packs have the most Turtles in them of any pack, so they must be good! I'm totally not making this change because I don't have enough Living Mana to play my own deck, I promise!
Tortollan Primalist - The single best card in the game. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. I heard he's got the best spells, just the greatest, and he's totally ripped too. He's got like an 8-pack.
Earthen Scales - Turtles already have scales, but they need these ones to help weigh the ingredients for the cake they're making. The cake of DOOM!*
*Flavours may vary, not all cakes will be DOOM flavoured
Feral Rage - Listen, have you seen a Snapping Turtle? Those things are fucking scary man. Now imagine if it were feral, too.
Savage Roar - Fun fact: Turtles invented roaring, but then everyone became so scared of them that they gave it up. Years later, the lions 'invented' it and everyone loved it. Thus the great Turtle-Lion war of 1877 began.
Bite - Snapping. Turtles.
Evolving Spores - What? Your Turtle is evolving! Where on earth did it get those cannons from, holy shit!
Swipe - If you thought Turtles didn't really have the claws for swiping, you'd be right! But with some Snapping Turtles, Duct-Tape and a whole lot of patience, anyone can start swinging wildly for some damage!
UPDATE: Living Mana - Given that Mark of Nature wasn't even listed here as being in the deck, I think this is a sign from our lord Yogg that trying out the Spiritsinger Umbra and Living Mana combo is a fit for this already stellar deck.
And that's that! Remember folks, staying in your shell is all well and good, but sometimes you just need to come out and bite some pirates for the sake of the meta. Or something. It's an old Turtle saying, you wouldn't get it.
Merry April! And a happy Un'goro release to you all!
Otherwise - onward, to a new, fantastic future filled with terrific terrapins!
As always, this guide will give you an in-depth look at each card in the deck, detailing exactly why it was included so you know that you're getting value for your money.
Tortollan Forager - First-time foragers will find this card difficult to use at first, often getting useless cards like Amani War Bear or The Lich King. Not to worry though - with a bit of patience, you'll soon figure out how to get Tortollan Primalist every time.
Eggnapper - Eggs need their rest too! Otherwise they'll never grow up into big strong Tortollans!*
*Not all eggs will hatch into Tortollans, according to reports
Ornery Tortoise - While hostile at first, this poor fellow is only upset that he's been labelled a Tortoise as opposed to the superior Turtle. Not to worry - we accept all Testudines here, so he'll quickly calm down.
Stonehill Defender - Another incredibly skill-testing card, proving just how deep a game Hearthstone is. He too will offer you trap cards like The Lich King, but don't worry - you'll have 3 options, so it's much easier to correctly get a Turtle from him.
Oasis Snapjaw - The Original Snapster. A Beast among his peers, he is glad to welcome the newest beastly addition to the Turtle family with open... umm... jaw?
Shellshifter - This master of disguise can infiltrate the ranks of the dinosaurs, learning their plans so she can relay them back to her brethren at a later date. A fantastic pick-up for the complex stealth missions later on in Hearthstone's Story Mode.
Spiritsinger Umbra - One might question the wisdom in bringing Umbra along to a deck with so few Deathrattles - and you'd be right to! Unfortunately, she kind of just... won't leave. Try and get her to wake up the Eggnappers or something.
Elise the Trailblazer - Hold your fire! She comes bearing gifts! Her mysterious ""card pack"" can gift us with much needed reinforcements of the shelled variety.
Snapjaw Shellfighter - Listen, I told you guys. Duct-taping Turtles to your arms is just good strategy. I didn't expect it to be a defensive strategy, but nobody can ever be 100% right.
Tortollan Primalist - A devout follower of the one true Yogg, this guy is all you need to win games. I don't even need to say anything else, you all know this guy's the best card in the game.
Pounce - Q: Can Turtles even Pounce? A: Yes. Just very slowly.
Earthen Scales - Sometimes you just need a bit of me-time, which is why including a nice mud bath for your Turtles is essential.
Mark of the Wild - Power yourself up with the new-and-improved Mark of the Wild™. Our brand new Rotation™ technology has powered it up with fantastic Turtle deities, including Shifter Zerus, Mal'Ganis and of course, our lord and saviour Yogg-Saron, Hope's End. Due to conversion costs, you may see a slight downgrade in the buff you receive compared to these cards, but the distilled Turtle essence is still there in every mana crystal.
Mark of the Wild™ - If Everything's Broken, Nothing Is.
Ferocious Howl - How do you howl with the admittedly limited vocal chords of a Turtle? By suspending your disbelief, you party-pooper.
Bite - A Snapple a day keeps the Meta away!
A perfectly updated deck ready to crush your opponents at any rank, provided they too are running this exact deck. After all, it's only fair if everyone is playing the exact same deck - we wouldn't want you beating them too badly!