Hearthpwn

----- WARNING: People who suffer from depression and vegans should stay away from this!!!!! Bots will drool a lot! -----





I want to present you a complete disgrace brilliance of a Warlock deck. Finding a deck name wasn't that hard, as there is the (unofficial) rule for Warlocks that you have to name it following this formula:

Deck name = "random term that has something to do with the deck" + "-lock"

So I just thought about what impact playing this deck has on you and finally came up with:

HARDCORE-SUICIDAL-TENDENCIES-LOCK

Look at the deck list, think about it for a while ..... although stop - I know what you think:

"This sure looks like the next BIG meta-defining deck - exactly like the BEAST Hunter Blizz told us about SECRET PALADIN. All those unique combos and synergies packed into only 30 cards! It's sooooo unfortunate we will just witness like 10 cards per game, because of how fast this deck wins games - for your opponent.
This deck is really reliable - it has a strong early-game, followed by an astonishing mid-to-late game. It really gets it's job done in a game where the heroes have 100 health.

Great job, OP (not refering the deck this time surprisingly).

Flag."



I am sure you learned a lot in your Hearthstone career. FORGET IT ALL! You absolutely don't know *excrement* when it comes to this deck!
PLAYING FOR VALUE?! FINDING THE PERFECT BALANCE BETWEEN RUSHING FACE AND TRADING MINIONS WITH YOUR WEAK MIDRANGE DECKS????!!!!

--> THIS DECK IS FRICKIN' BALANCE ITSELF!!!!! <--




So let me give you a guide on how to actually play this deck. This deck, in fact, does give it by itself. The initial steps are:

1) Start a game.
2) ???
3) Death...I mean Profit.

There are no further steps, because this deck doesn't need to have those, but you have to remember some very important things:

--> Every single match is a DO-AND-DIE match. Well, in every single match you do something and die as a result. Good thing, we're just playing a game here. Rinse and repeat is my advice here.

--> You go ALL IN. Let's be honest. You won't win every match you play as you're all not worthy of playing this deck. So if you want to make sure you win, you try to*force* it a little bit yourself. Play everything that makes your HP come down as fast as you can. Your Giants will be dropped by turn 2 and your opponent will be overwhelmed by a board which consists of Wrathguards, Fel Reaver, Pit Lord and two Molten Giants by Turn 5. And if all of that doesn't work, you REALLY go all in...

--> GOING MORE THAN ALL-IN ISN'T NEARLY ENOUGH: It DOESN'T MATTER whose HP drop to 0 - YOU WIN! This deck defines the rules not Blizzard - remember that!
If your opponent is playing a deck almost as worthy as this one and holds on until turn 9, then raise your game...

PLAY JARAXXUS! Now, right when your opponent believes he has finally got you, you drop your frickin' MASTERCARD. AND WITH THIS ONE YOU CAN EVEN PAY FOR THE INVALUABLE STUFF!


SACRIFICIAL PACT!!! --- WHICH IS MAJORDOMO EXECUTUS SPELLED BACKWARDS!!!!!

HE DECIDES THE GAME EVEN FASTER THAN THE PACT!


With Majordomo you end the game once and for all and cause your opponent to surrender the game of Hearthstone, because he believes it is way too easy challenging.