Hearthpwn

Greetings deckmeisters. Today I've decided to look at some cards that are commonly considered to be garbage. Are they actually that bad? The answer is yes, they really are that bad. You will not believe how awful a whole bunch of these cards are. Far Sight? Bad. Ancestral Call? Atrocious. Alarm-O Bot? King of Trash Mountain. But if we mix all of them together, will they, by some arcane contrivance, nullify each other out and actually be good?

The answer is no. This deck is uh...not good. But hopefully it's a bad deck that brings you the occasional joy and entertainment playing it.

So what is this deck anyway?

Alright, alright. Keep your undies on mate. I want you to imagine Ancestral Call. It's not difficult, it should be linked right there unless I fucked something up. Now imagine Ancestral Call AND Far Sight. Do they not synergise with each other, in some fucked up stupid way? Now imagine those two cards AND Alarm-o-Bot. I think you are beginning to understand, yes. But we have just begun on our journey of imagination. 

I want you to now imagine a whole bunch of really big guys you could never normally feasibly play but would be sort of cool if you could get them with Ancestral Call, Far Sight or Alarm-o-Bot. I want you to imagine a deck that contains these big guys and NO OTHER CREATURES. Except for one Mana-Tide Totem, I guess. Card draw is cool.

I want you to believe in the dream of the turn 4 Ragnaros, the dream of the Deathwing that is called out in a way that doesn't involve your hand self-combusting. The dream of that Deathwing living a turn, the dream of you then giving that Deathwing Windfury. A world where Foe Reaper 4000 MIGHT ACTUALLY GET PLAYED.

Also you have Ancestral Healing in there too because it's another bad card that sort of works with these other bad cards. Give your Molten Giant taunt, just like a Handlock! Only a Handlock is a real deck and this is some sort of abomination in the eyes of God. Hell, take Ancestral Spirit too, it works with this! Might as well go all out. 

At this point I realise that basically every card with Ancestral or Ancestor in the name seems to work with really big creatures and not much else which is pretty cool internal thematics from Blizzard, if not particularly useful.

What if I don't draw the combos that this deck needs to function in any basic way?

You done fucked up you little shit. Get better at drawing the cards you need. 

So...Why would I ever play this?

In order to play this you need to believe in the The Dream. You need to be willing to go through a lot of losses just for that one moment where everything works perfectly. If you've ever played something like Randuin or Alarm-o-Druid then you're probably already acquainted with this.

Really, this deck is a lot like really bad sex with someone ugly. You don't particularly appreciate who you're doing it with, you're only there for the climax which never happens the way you want it to, Earth Elemental is there, etc etc.