Hearthpwn

Holy Shit do I have a Deck for you people out there who felt shaman was dead. Remember last week when priest exploded on to the scene and just started annoying the piss out of everyone cause it was deal with it or die every game? Well get ready for the newest incarnation of cancer!

Now this is a super efficient evolve/jade shaman hybrid. we also got two devolves in there to just really help us set up our finishes and control all those decks with synergies that are just not our friends. So basically all the synergies.

This deck is absolutely insane against aggro, even hunter which is usually my worst match up in the entirety of this game is somewhat easy to manage with a well placed devolve. See we are taking advantage of the super low cost minions everyone is playing these days to make a bunch of wisps, and I tell you what is some of the most fun I have had playing this game this season.

The point of this deck ladies and gentlemen is simple, hit one of your various combos in this deck and just win. So either bloodlust 7 minions and rush face for the win. Drop a dopplegangster and evolve it into instanity. And just watch all their nifty plans fall to ruin beneath the power of turning their well tuned army of murlocs or pirates, into an cavalcade of degenerates incapable of evacuating their own bowels without exploding into ruin and feces.

50 stupid fucking upvotes and I will do a mulligan guide

100 stupid fucking green arrows will get you a general guide

200 upvotes gets a indepth guide and I don't know something else

For 25 after 200 I will throw up some class guides, maybe a video. who the fuck knows, irregardless enjoy this fucking monster of a deck.

Mulligan guide

So wow 86 upvotes in such a short amount of time. I knew I spoiled this deck way too early. I am calling it now shaman is gonna be like 15 percent of active decks by this time next week. Why do I think that? Well this deck just works and I will go into detail as to why later on but, we'll cover a lot of that stupidity in the general guide, which I am sure I have to make much sooner than fucking later, but as demanded here is the mulligan guide. Now normally when I do this I give a brief overview of what cards you should look for. This time around I am gonna list the cards you might wanna keep, when you should keep them, and why I truly believe this is the case. If you disagree feel free to leave a comment below and I will probably reward you, by ridiculing your comment in a future Q and A (nothing personal, just me being me).

Bloodsail Corsair: Oooh weeeee is this card in every anti aggro deck like horse shit. Why is this the case. Well for one it helps you shut down weapon/pirate warrior with it's amazing effect, oh and itll suck the patches right off your deck and onto the battle field, where it can deal with a stray alley cat, or get beefed up by a flametongue totem to deal with more exotic and powerful threats. Definitely a strong keep against warrior, paladin, and hunter, and a good card to draw into against medivh rolling mages and priests.

Evolve: Put it back in your deck moron, unless you can pair it with like a dopplegangster against a really slow control deck. it's really not gonna get us anywhere with aggro unless we are really really lucky. And this is hearthstone, and you will never ever be really lucky. Don't be like that guy who blows his whole ssi check on one hand of black jack, be smart and put it away for later.

Fire Fly Or as I like to call him, my favorite neutral one drop. This card baby gives you a more or less exact copy of himself for one mana, and for a one mana minion he has ok stats, This is just an instant keep because it's so versatile, and cause I like it. There isn't a match up where he doesn't just fit your curve perfectly every turn.

Patches the Pirate: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA just like your penis in grade school, put it away before the other kids see really...never ever, keep patches. fuck i shouldnt have to explain this but ffs I did.

Devolve: This is my favorite card in deck and It is of super high value as an early game draw, and is a great card to keep when facing off against synergy reliant decks(btw this is most deck, including ours currently). This is literally the anti aggro card right here. Did you druid opponent just spend the last 3 turns buffing all their minions so they can savage roar into you for the win? Wouldn't it be a shame if all their minions became buffless wisps? Oh that's a beautiful Frothing Beserker you hyped up, I see you spent the entirety of your turn making it a 14/4 so I would lose next turn. It would be a shame...if....something....happened...to it....:D. Oh wow that's a lot of murlocs you got their, and I bet you are about to drop your megasaur or a raid leader, if only i had a way to turn murlocs into wisps...Oh wait I do! The list of reasons this card is great against the aggro is huge. It also fairs well against deathrattle decks, or any deck that relies heavily on it's minions being something other than some rando card. Almost always keep imo.

Flametongue Totem: This is a shaman instant keep since beta, I am not about to suggest that anything is wrong with the card either. I am still strongly of the opinion that this is almost always an instant keep, definitely helps you accelerate against quests rogues.

Jade Claws: Yeah this card is just versatile and good at every stage of the game but it's a way stronger turn two play, So I will keep one of them, sometimes two against slower aggro decks if I am lucky enough to get them. This is also a card i don't ever dig or mulligan aggressively for though either so I personally have mixed feelings about its keepability. It definitely feels dead against priest who has a lot of early game minions that just avoid the claws range, and the 1/1 body usually seems to help them more than it hurts them, so keep this in mind before playing it against that one class.

Maelstrom Portal: Is this a strong keeper, Well that's really a case by case basis Kind of thing. Malestrom Portal when you get the right random totem, is a two mana card that gives you two mass damage against your opponents board, and summons a random 1 drop minion (usually not a bad thing). When you are not getting the right totem though, or all your opponents minions are just outta reach of this card, it can feel clunky and useless for a long time, and can even just be a dead card in the wrong situations. I say it's a decent keeper but its a low tier keeper unless paired with a devolve or spell damage.

Primalfin Totem: I really have no idea how to feel about this guy. I personally feel it's a really strong pick just because your opponent has to deal with it or risk getting overrun with your lame little murlocs, and the 1/1 bodies can be useful against aggro, and annoying against slow control. Definitely a good keeper in any situation, but not the best keeper in the deck.

Mana Tide Totem: This is my "My hand really sucks and I don't see this mulligan making it any better, so I kept it outta desperation" card. I keep this card only when I know I am fighting uphill cause my hand is already gonna fucking suck, and that one card draw could be the difference between swinging the game somewhat in my favor, or me just drawing into nothing for 5 painful turns before my swift and deserved demise. I also keep it if I am on the coin and my hand looks something like "Flametongue, Manatide, Primalfin, and Thing From below". Cause fuck it lets get a turn 3 or 4 5/5 with taunt, why the fuck not. then my totems can just chill and produce minons and damage and cards for me like the bros they are.

Stonehill Defender: This is another cookie cutter anti aggro card, it's also a great options generator for this deck. This card can generate Alkazir or Thing from Below, both very strong minons overall and in this deck. It also can help you produce options for the next turn, that you really needed to stay on top of an aggro match up. Overall Stonehill defender is a staple of the meta. He is my least favorite keep on this list behind patches and mana tide. I will not lie though, there are times where keeping him is way better than the alternatives.

As for the rest of the cards. There are times where keeping them may be a good idea, as I demonstrated when discussing mana tide;s keepability. For example a bloodlust keep when you have a good lot of low cost opening minions, or minion generators, and Are playing against a deck with not a lot of removal (such as quest rogue), this card can kinda be a great way to steal victory by turn five, just before stuff gets out of control. That is of course suggesting you go unanswered into turn 4 or 5. Dopplegangster can also have it's reasons for making it into your opening hand, especially if you are stuck keeping an evolve, but that's a risky way to play your hand, but not a terrible way (well not completely terrible).

Now go fourth and make everyone realize how fickle their little pissant aggro decks are. Oh and always remember they may have changed the emote of "SORRY" to "WOW", but we all know it means "FUCK YOU". So whenever you win really fast remember to say "WOW/FUCK YOU".

Happy Hunting Kids. Bonus points if you caught onto the gagline "Suck the Patches off your deck"

General Guide Time

Well you kiddies never cease to impress me with the insane amounts of love you bukkake all over my fucking decks. This deck has been exceptionally well received, despite a few people once again calling me a plagiarist. Which never gets old. Seriously the hate is what keeps me warm at night, so keep those baseless accusations coming guys.

So we are gonna go ahead and get into some deep and icky territory because I am about to rock your fucking minds with this general guide. As I will probably avoid an indepth guide by going really hard here.

VS Aggro

Now when you play this deck against aggro, we're trying to take a control or midrange approach, This deck can with very little finesse and some decent trading choices outlast even the most deadly of hunters. It can out synergy the best of the murlocs and it can tear apart warriors of every shape and size. Now if you are playing against a deck that has synergies that rely on low cost minions, your two best friends in the match up are devolve and a spell damageed maelstrom portal. Beyond that your typical, help me control the board options are gonna be good here. So jade claws, tricking out a patches to deal that one more damage to deal with a low level threat in the early game. Things like this are plays you should be looking for. You should be looking to control every stage of the early game. So effectively clear their board with freebie minions and keep your more valuable totems alive and you will have won the first part of this battle. Now when you are playing against aggro you are looking for the perfect time to tear apart what they are building. Do they have only two cards in hand, and have they flooded the board? Well all we have to do is clear this board or destabilize their set up, and then we can really just coast to the end of the game. Around midgame, you wanna already have board control or be looking to lock it down really quick. it's also around this stage of the game that a dopplegangster followed by an evolve makes a really good desperation play.

Around mid to late game, is when we can start setting up to finish aggro off. This is when we should be widdling away what is left of their health, and keeping the board as clear as possible, if you are already winning and can play more aggressively, avoid the temptation as there are still options in aggro decks to deal with overeextenstion, and you can be punished. Usually when I am looking to close out a game against aggro I am looking for a really good mass evolve or to swoop in and slam face with a bloodlust and 5 solid bodies on the board.

This deck should never lose to that weird low curve druid deck, so if you are losing to it, you are doing something very wrong or are just very unlucky.

Against control and Questing Rogue and Taunt warrior

This is when the decks ability and versatility really shines and can make for a really impressive display. If you have played this deck against aggro you may have noted how easy it was for you to destabilize all of their plans for the early game by playing like a control player. Now is your chance to do the same, but from the aggro position. This deck is meant to melt down slower decks, because it can. The flametongue totems help accelerate damage so if you can help it keep them alive, against questing rogue i will often keep a bloodlust, As I know they lack the hard removal to stop me from being turn 4 or 5 lethal. Now as we continue to build our on board threats to try to move in for a quick kill, try to be aware of the removal they may have or they have been using throughout the game. The quickest way to lose to control is to dump your hand on an all in play that you cannot definitely end. Letting yourself run out of options is a misplay on your behalf. So try to avoid this. It should be noted that devolve is a much more contextual card against control. You should save it when setting up your finishes to remove large walls of taunt minions or destabilize their game winning combos. See the whole point of control is that they will be setting up some kind of game winning combo, A large buffed minion, some sort of miracle play, some sort of two step kill, this is where our devolve fits in, in these matchups. This card works as a silence on meth, so it's best to use it in that capacity against control if you can.

Now there is something that needs to be said about the mage matchup, this is your worse matchup if you cannot close out the game quickly. This is the one match up where you gotta kill them before they can stabilize and set up the never ending secrets. It's also worth noting that against secrets mage you will have to play differently to try and feel out what secret is on the field. So if you have a turn where you intend to play two minions, play the weakest first, to feel for a mirror entity, if you can play two spells, play the one you don't absolutely need to feel for a counter spell, if you think they may have a mana bind, definitely play the spell that benefits them least first. I Personally like to hold the coin a long ass time in this match up if i get it, because it does help me feel out those mana binds and counter spells beforehand.

 

Well I hope all this info was helpful, I may dive into more specific class guides later, I am sure I will continue to get questions about different matchups and if I see people naming specific ones I think need to be addressed I will definitely move into those.

Happy hunting my children.

200 upvote reward

So after wracking my brain as to what to do at 200 upvotes, considering I already posted a guide extension today. Here's a bunch of fucking dad jokes that are hearthstone related, cause I think dad jokes are fucking funny.

What did Valeera Say after getting a cash advance?

I will be in debt!!!

Some pirates walk into a bar.

There are no counters

Thrall ordered some terrible food at a restaurant, What did he say to the waiter?

That's inedible!!

What does Ragnaros, the light lord, call purchasing a lamp?

A light purchase

What do you call a dinosaur in pain?

An ultrasore

What does patches say when he can't breathe?

I got sars now!

What does the innkeeper say after eye surgery?

Its good to see you again!!

Ok I am done groaning at these terrible jokes, thanks to some of the writers over at reddit for coming up with the original versions of these jokes. I have modified them a bit to be a little more palatable, and a little easier to read.

FAQ Section

Q. Is this really a control deck?

A. Ok a little background on me, I used to play magic the gathering on the Pro Tour Circuit. The reason this deck in particular is listed as a control deck, is that to me it feels like a creature control deck. Where in the control aspect of this deck is based on the minions in the deck, and how they can help you control the board state. It is also classified as control because of the way that the deck should be played. I.E. it can play as an aggro deck, and can succeed as one, but it plays much better if you play it as though you are playing as a control player. In the sense of what is control in any card game, it is the idea that I am controlling what my opponent can do, up until i hit my game winning combo. This deck in many ways delivers on that ideal. If you fucking don't think it's a control deck though, then whatever to you it is not a control deck. To me it is. Tired of that question.

Q. This deck is brilliant!

A. That's not a question, but thank you. Spoiler Alert: You have seen me release several of my builds on several different decks. But you guys haven't seen anything yet. I have deck that I will be spoiling near the end of the season that is gonna have everyone smacking their heads wishing they would have came up with it first.

Q. I beat this deck all day, thanks for the free wins!

A. This is also not a question, but I felt like it was a fucking dumb dumb comment that should be smothered in the cradle. This deck can lose to secrets mage if the secret mage is either lucky or not a complete idiot and knows how to outplay you. That being said, this deck will lose to people who are dealing with it properly and people who are kitted to deal with it. That being said that doesn't mean these people are beating this deck all day, it just means they have a favorable match up. If you wanna play a deck that has no favorable match ups against it, I'd suggest you don't play card games to begin with. No one creates a card game and balances this cards thinking "There will never be an answer to that deck. Why don't they do that? Well number one it would ruin the fucking game for everyone because there would only be one deck worth playing. Two we would all get bored and stop playing. and 3 we would all probably rise up as one to kill ben brode, and eat him, just to try and possess his power.

Q. IS there room in the deck for "Insert card here"

A. look this is a decklist, you can do whatever you want with it, if you think there is a card that plays better in the deck try it out. Like play the game how you want to play it. If you think you have a better list, play it, fuck do a write up on it and make me look like an invalid if you can. I encourage all the readers to experiment and create, the same way I do.

Q. I don't like the pirates or do not have some of them, what can I replace them with.

A. The pirates serve as an anti paladin, anti pirate, and anti hunter sort of deal. so when cycling these cards out of the deck, keep in mind that you are limiting your early game options against these decks. My best suggestion would be to make those changes based on what you are palying against the most right now. So if you see a lot of secret mages, eater of secrets can get you some mileage. If you are playing against pirates or murlocs, the two crabs that eat those archtypes may be good replacements as well. Hex, volcano, and lightning storm are all also viable options. My personal shortcut when I lack a card or find it unnecassary is to just fill the spot with a draw card such as novice engineer just so that empty spot is basically a card cycle effect. In the end though like the previous questions answer. You can put stone tusk boars in if you really want. Don't let a succesful decklist stop you from finding a more successful build. This build would have never come to be if I just stopped at a boiler plate evolve or jade shaman build. This build was created by analyzing the data and statistics of all the cards played by shaman players for the last month and a half and how those cards were doing at certain stages of the game. Like I honestly didn't think primalfin totem was all that great until I saw how consistently dropping that card was winning games.

So with the information acquired from several users, and my own experience so far, it turns out this fucking deck is not only viable in wild, it's actually fucking amazing in wild. I have never played wild really, but this deck took my from 25 to 9 undefeated. It was absolutely absurd going into the wild meta knowing nothing about it, accept a few inklings about what I would do if I were other classes and just crushing face game after game. Finishing most way before the late game. So if you are not a wild player, and would like a neat introduction to that ladder. This is the deck for you baby. I have received two messages from users stating they are sitting well above #100 legend playing this exact deck on that ladder. I also believe one of said players received an invite to some big wild tourney (congrats brah). Give it a shot guys you wont be disappoint.

Video By hearthshare

Now normally I don't wank anyone who posts videos in the comments section, but hearthshare a great user on this site, is one of the most grind it out video guys there is here. He tends to be near the upper ranks and he is a pretty good player and presenter. So I asked to go ahead and make a deck spotlight specifically for this deck. He's a little more tame than me, so people who find me grating will probably enjoy his descriptions better than my own

 

New Decks

In response to some of the issues I've been facing with the meta recently, I adopted a If you can beat them join them approach to secrets mage. So if you are interested in a more entertaining secrets mage build, Take a fucking look if you like, or don't, whatever...

http://www.hearthpwn.com/decks/841649-78-win-rate-secrets-mage-szechuan-sauce-update

Special thanks

Thank you to the supporters of the original guides i posted here on hearthpwn, the outpour of support was greatly appreciated and a much needed kick in my ass. so here is the original guide, back by popular demand.

Ramp druids back baby!

Looks like blizzard finally got something right and now ramp druid is viable again. Check this ridiculous shit out, if you, like me, have too many legendaries and not a good deck to put them in

http://www.hearthpwn.com/decks/845650-69-wr-butthurt-druid

The new season is here

Check out what I have been up to. Check out the new decks my precious little angels, and shameless trolls.

http://www.hearthpwn.com/decks/894800-78-wr-jade-druid-the-pain-train-update