Hearthpwn

He gets terrible heartburn. BECAUSE HE IS FULL OF LAVA.

His mother said that he was just big boned.

Take the time for an evil laugh after you draw this card.

Once a noble dragon known as Neltharion, Deathwing lost his mind and shattered Azeroth before finally being defeated. Daddy issues?

See? Giant.

Alexstrasza the Life-Binder brings life and hope to everyone. Except Deathwing. And Malygos. And Nekros.

The best defense against King Krush is to have someone you don’t like standing in front of you.

Malygos hates it when mortals use magic. He gets so mad!

Time to write some flavor text.

Onyxia long manipulated the Stormwind Court by disguising herself as Lady Katrana Prestor. You would have thought that the giant wings and scales would have been a giveaway.

Ysera rules the Emerald Dream. Which is some kind of green-mirror-version of the real world, or something?

"TRIFLING GNOME! YOUR ARROGANCE WILL BE YOUR UNDOING!!!!"

The Twisting Nether is a formless place of magic and illusion and destroyed minions.

He is the weakest of the four Elemental Lords. And the other three don't let him forget it.

Yes, he's a demigod. No, he doesn't need to wear a shirt.

Grommash drank the tainted blood of Mannoroth, dooming the orcs to green skin and red eyes! Maybe not his best decision.

He's Gruul "the Dragonkiller". He just wanted to cuddle them… he never meant to…

Ragnaros was summoned by the Dark Iron dwarves, who were eventually enslaved by the Firelord. Summoning Ragnaros often doesn’t work out the way you want it to.

If you haven't heard the Tirion Fordring theme song, it's because it doesn't exist.

The longbow allows shots to be fired from farther away and is useful for firing on particularly odorous targets.

Grommash Hellscream's famous axe. Somehow this ended up in Prince Malchezaar's possession. Quite the mystery!

Go ahead, carve your initials in him.

Young Night Elves love to play "Who can get the Ancient of War to Uproot?" You lose if you get crushed to death.

Antonidas was the Grand Magus of the Kirin Tor, and Jaina's mentor. This was a big step up from being Grand Magus of Jelly Donuts.

Baron Geddon was Ragnaros's foremost lieutenant, until he got FIRED.

He used to run the black market auction house, but there was just too much violence and he had to move.

He's been exiled from his home, and all his brothers turned evil, but otherwise he doesn't have a lot to complain about.

Just mail him a package with a name and 10,000 gold. He'll take care of the rest.

Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham!

This spell can be very Entertaining.

Often followed by Holy Smokes!

A grammatically awkward life saver.

The Argent Dawn stands vigilant against the Scourge, as well as people who cut in line at coffee shops.

You never know who may be secretly working for the Cabal....

Cairne was killed by Garrosh, so... don't put this guy in a Warrior deck. It's pretty insensitive.

Cat or Bear? Cat or Bear?! I just cannot CHOOSE!

When a Water elemental and an Ice elemental love each other VERY much...

Hogger is super powerful. If you kill him, it's because he <i>let</i> you.

He just wants people to see his vacation photos.

If she threatens to "moon" you, it's not what you think.

In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion gets slowly consumed by hyenas.

She doesn’t ACTUALLY walk on the Sun. It's just a name. Don’t worry!

Sylvanas was turned into the Banshee Queen by Arthas, but he probably should have just killed her because it just pissed her off.

He lives in Blackrock Mountain. He eats Gnomes. That's pretty much it.

Harpies are not pleasant sounding. That's the nicest I can put it.

Xavius has grand nightmares of summoning Sargeras into this world, but a few Satyr will have to do for now.

Orgrim Doomhammer gave this legendary weapon to Thrall. His name is a total coincidence.

My advice to you is to avoid Doom, if possible.

This card causes double the trouble AND double the fun.

Do you know the first rule of Brawl Club?

Pull the pin, count to 5, then shoot. Then duck.

"I think I'll just nap under these trees. Wait... AAAAAHHH!" - Blinkfizz, the Unfortunate Gnome

C'mon Molten Giant!!

Druids take nourishment from many things: the power of nature, the songbird's chirp, a chocolate cake.

Is the sky falling? Yes. Yes it is.

Abominations enjoy Fresh Meat and long walks on the beach.

They initially planned to be the Beryl or Cerulean drakes, but those felt a tad too pretentious.

He was <i>this close</i> to piloting a massive juggernaut into Stormwind Harbor. If it weren't for those pesky kids!

Summoning a doomguard is risky. <i>Someone</i> is going to die.

Nothing beats rock.

The Faceless Ones are servants of Yogg-Saron, and they feed on fear. Right now they are feeding on your fear of accidentally disenchanting all your good cards.

He used to be called Bog Beast, but it confused people because he wasn't an actual beast. Boom, New Name!

“That belongs in the Hall of Explorers!”

At least he has Angry Chicken.

Mind Control technology is getting better, but that's not saying much.

It's good to be a knight. Less so to be one's squire.

She'll craft you a sword, but you'll need to bring her 5 Steel Ingots, 3 Motes of Earth, and the scalp of her last customer.

This Kodo is so big that he can stampede by <i>himself</i>.

The wonderful thing about tigers is tigers are wonderful things!

He also moonlights Thursday nights as a bouncer at the Pig and Whistle Tavern.

No Job is too big. No fee is too big.

Chew your food!

It dispels buffs, powers, hopes, and dreams.

Sometimes it feels like this is all a game.

"If you only use one ability, use Mortal Strike." - The Warrior Code, Line 6

Start with a powerful minion and stir in Shadowflame and you have a good time!

You probably should avoid siphoning your own soul. You might create some kind of weird infinite loop.

Most pandaren say his brew tastes like yak. But apparently that's a compliment.

Sometimes he forgets and just wanders into someone else's game.

50% off fist weapons, limited time only!

The Auchenai know the end is coming, but they're not sure when.

Mere devilsaurs no longer excite him. Soon he'll be trying to catch Onyxia with only a dull Krol Blade.

She may be an evil cult master, but she still calls her parents once a week.

Guardians of Dark Iron Ore. Perhaps the most annoying ore, given where you have to forge it.

You wouldn’t think that Argus would need this much defending. But it does.

"Yarrrr" is a pirate word that means "Greetings, milord."

The ethereals are wrapped in cloth to give form to their non-corporeal bodies. Also because it's nice and soft.

These guys just show up and start Keeping your Groves without even asking.

She's actually a male tauren. People don't call him "Master of Disguise" for nothing.

All these guys ever do is talk about the Thunder King. BOOOORRRINNG!

Mannoroth, Magtheridon, and Brutallus may be dead, but it turns out there are a LOT of pit lords.

The first time they tried to guard Silvermoon against the scourge, it didn’t go so well…

Apprentices are great for bossing around. "Conjure me some mana buns! And a coffee! Make that a mana coffee!"

Spellbreakers can rip enchantments from magic-wielders. The process is painless and can be performed on an outpatient basis.

NOT LESS THAN 1! Don't get any ideas!

He was sent by the Lich King to disrupt the Argent Tournament. We can pretty much mark that a failure.

Twilight drakes feed on Mystical Energy. And Tacos.

If you don't pay attention, you may be turned into a pig. And then you get your name on the board.

First Lesson: Put the pointy end in the other guy.

Perdition's Blade is Ragnaros's back-up weapon while Sulfuras is in the shop.